i got accepted!

I got accepted!

Hang on. Let me go back. I wrote this blogpost on Monday and a lot has happened since then. Let’s rewind so you know what i’m talking about.

“Monday came around too damn fast like she always does. I’m currently watching “I hus til halsen” and drinking iced tea at work. I’ve finished my writing exercise for today and just need to psych myself up to begin working on my novel. There’s not much for me to do at work right now – emails are answered, projects completed on Friday and so until I hear anything else – this time becomes me time. I’m looking forward to lunch too. I’m trying to get back into my fasting meaning I eat from 12.00pm till around 7/8.00pm.  Sometimes I miss the deadline in the evening because I get home late from work and have to shower, then make dinner. But I stick to it as best I can. The only time I let loose is on the weekends. This weekend I went for a run in the snow and it just put my heart back in its place, after having been broken from leaving home.

I’m still eagerly refreshing my emails to see if the horseshoeing school has returned with a verdict for me. I mentioned signing up in my previous blogpost that you can read here. They said it’d take a couple of weeks for them to review my application, but I’m checking consistently since I applied – which was 4 days ago.  I’m just too damn excited! In the mean time I’ve been researching my butt off, reading everything I can about the experience and what it entitles. I found a great link to an article detailing what I can expect, you can read it here, and now I’m pumped. I really hope they accept me, because I think I’d be damn good at this as a profession. At the moment I have been between books and unable to decide what I’m in the mood for but I’m figuring that I’ll pick up my hoof care and farrier books, perhaps try to get a head start if possible with the general knowledge part of the course. I don’t want to walk in without an idea.

I would really have like to have taken the 8 weeks course but I don’t currently have to funds for that. Besides, I don’t want to pay an insane amount for such a long course to find out it’s not for me, worst case scenario of course. I also don’t know that I’ll even be in Wyoming all that long because my paper heart already flew off to Texas without me, sodding thing.
So the two week course is perfect for me right now. Later on I plan to attend a Farrier school in Texas when I’m all settled and that’ll be the long one. And I suppose that’s my current career plan – that and writing of course. Writing is constantly on my mind. If I had the ability to take a month off I believe my book would be finished, and I can then focus of my book of poetry and moral ramblings.

Girl in the woods
Lingering on future plans in the dark nordic woods at home.

Hopefully we’ll buy our own land and I can have an old blacksmith shop by the barn in some picturesque rugged country on the Lone Star panhandle. I want to wake up before sunset every day and smoke a pipe before I start work.  And I’m closer to my dream now than I’ve ever been. It all depends on whether I get in.  I wouldn’t be able to survive on an artist’s wage until some publisher discovered my books and paid me the price. I don’t want to be rich — I want to be happy, but I’ve received such wonderful and  supportive feed back on my writing lately that im in awe of you all. Thank you.

So I plan to work as a farrier to help fill my coffers. With any the land we acquire, that wonderful day ahead of us, will be large enough for filming westerns and shorts. Jack and I already have a few ideas in our notebooks we’d like to try. We have a few creative friends in Texas we plan on getting involved. My bridesmaid for one – I will make can actor out of him if I kills me. He’s like the Woodrow Call to Jacks Gus McCrea. And if this point is reached my horses will be rescues that need a place to sleep, retire and somewhere the sun can warm their backs all year long. Sweet Texas. I’ll use them for film work to, but the choice will ultimately be theirs.
Do you hear that? That empty sound is the noise of my empty pockets before I even began to dream. Haha. I’ve never let money stop me. Money is nothing, it helps but it won’t stop me getting there or wherever. Right now we’re working for our dreams and it’s exciting really, hard but exciting. Now I don’t know how well this plan will work out, or if it’ll ever come to fruition at all; but it’s a plan I’m loving the sound of. And for as long as my current job lasts I’ll do what I have to and write as much as I can and save every penny.

I’d also like to eventually donate farrier services to charity horse sanctuaries that I care about when I feel I have the skill. There’s a particular one I cherish and hope to visit in Santa Fe New Mexico one day (and another in Argyle, TX). We could take two weeks, drive over there, trim their hooves and volunteer.  I’d like to build up a happy and trusting relationship with clients that won’t drive me crazy, and live happily in my blacksmithing, acting and writing. Why it’s such a crazy-ass dream that I fill up with joy just writing about it. I think we can make it happen.”

Back to today. I’ve truly struggled with the novel the last few days and yesterday was a little miserable for me. However, today i received a phone call — that i ignored; i never pick up the phone. And there was no voice mail message left. Madam forgot that she had turned off her mobile data — i turned it on and there in my inbox that was bursting at its seams was a 19 voice mail from Cheyenne Wyoming.
“Could it be? They’ve said no. I bet thats it. After the week i’ve already had this will top it off.”
“Bella! We want to talk to you about to application to the Wyoming School of Horse shoeing — please call back.”

Close up of a donkey
This handsome Nebraska burro.

I rushed to the union student center for my lunch and eagerly called. The lady was so lovely and excited, i’ve been accepted. $1900 for the two weeks and an addition $1400 for tools. The tools caught me unawares but i’m willing to pay it to make sure i have exactly what i need.
But it made my day, my week and i am so excited to live on their ranch for two weeks with the bison, horse shoeing activities and the all the other experiences. I really wasn’t sure i’d be accepted! She even said, as i live quite close, that i could come and take a look around the place before i pay for the course to be sure. I’m hoping to converse with her again asap to arrange a time to go there and meet her.

Anyway. I got accepted!!! Im so ecstatic. The happiness i feel about this farrier school business that it makes up for losing out on the class i desperately wanted to do at UW. Im so grateful for Jack helping me and being there every step of the way. I really couldn’t live the life that i do without him. Hug your others tonight, the deserve it.

Thanks for reading this long blog post.
I hope you’re all doing well.

cowhand classic at the chuckwagon


It was a cold morning as I remember it. The snow outside had settled but the wind was a brutal son of a bitch, carrying ice and desert snow along the highway in heavy waves. Wrecks began to build along Interstate-80 between Cheyenne and Laramie as they so often do when the weather has gone all to hell. Happy Jack Road was a winding column of black ice, with no one upon it as happy as the road itself. Thanksgiving passed with the regular hitches and full bellies. The Cornish hens tasted phenomenal and I’ve never had a bad thing to say about garlic butter biscuits.
 The Sunday before returning to work was a sad day as it so often is. No more late sleeping, back to the bump and grind to someone else’s lousy rhythm in an office high in the sky. That’s the day I’m telling you about.

When I pulled myself outta bed I stretched lazily, trying to unbuckle the sodding nerve trapped somewhere in my neck between my shoulder and my metal ear. I didn’t prosper in my attempt, the infernal thing is plaguing me still. Jack had started the coffee pot as soon as he roused and the smell, though I don’t drink the stuff, was welcoming. He usually always gets up before me. I’m lazy as a retired bloodhound truth be known and weekends are for sleeping. We sat for a while in front of the tv while I tried to catch up on my knitting projects and Jack nursed his Arbuckle’s. It was probably King of the Hill we were watching or some form of Disney Imagineering documentary. Regular old pair of boots we are, and antisocial.

The night before we’d discussed trying to grab breakfast at the Chuckwagon, a local mom and pop place on the outskirts of town with peculiar working hours, to which we struggle to abide. Several times we’ve endeavored to go for lunch or dinner only to find it closed before seeing hide or hair of 2pm in the afternoon. However, it being the Lord’s Day to laugh, it was open around 7am ready for the church rush. Thus we ventured into the snow and got the car out of the garage, hungry as London paupers.
It’s a great place for a writer camp with a cup of coffee, if they drink it, or an unsweet ice tea in my case; to write the next bestseller about some fella with a hitch in his step and an ugly wife that feeds the cows in her birthday suit during the dead of winter. The place has character and a cozy little ambience about it. I wish it was open more often and that I had the freedom to go and write at a favorite table as a first name basis regular, however, unless I become a full time paid writer within the next few months I don’t see it happening. Never say never and never say die… unless you put it in a poem.

I ordered the cowhand classic breakfast with scrambled eggs, a griddle loved pancake and seasoned hash browns with a tall iced tea full of ice. Now the bacon was almost a little too sweet for me personally but it’s tough to compare to the Jalapeno bacon I cook at home. The eggs and the pancake were nevertheless on point. We sat at our table talking about buffalo Bill and what errands we needed to run that day – I probably mentioned Calamity Jane too as I’m apt to do. We got excited about our upcoming travels and a potential get away to Deadwood in the spring. About us were good o’l boys reminiscing about girls they loved and hardworking sons moving into the family business, they hovered over their coffee mugs like gummy vultures trying to chew a tough steak. I half expected Craig Johnson to walk on in and sit by the window. He didn’t.

A few authors say that if you wait for conditions to be prime before you write, you’ll never say a word. I guess I’m the lonesome exception. I truly struggle to write at home unless I am alone. I can write for 8 hours a day at work and feel accomplished and know I’ve done well. Whereas if I stay home, not only do I have distractions and things I feel must get done, but it’s harder to get into the mindset. At work I write to drown out the everyday office scenario but I need to buck up. I have to set aside a little time each week to force myself to also write at home whether I’m with Jack or not. After all that’ll be where I write my other novels if ever one sells. Having said that, as long as something is written I shan’t complain.

I hope December finds you well my friends.
Be HAPPY.
Be Great.
Create.

Your keeper, 
Bella.

novel idea

I was going to start by saying that winter is almost upon us in Wyoming, but it’d be a bald faced lie.
The snow has been yo-yoing worse than a cheap whore lately and it’s hard to plan for weather that can’t decide what the fuck it’s doing, but welcome to the West. It feels strange that we’ve already been living here for nearly three months.


I’ve applied for some hours at an equestrian centre that I’m hoping to hear from this week, and I really hope I can get some barn chore hours during the weekend. I’m made for tough graft not so much office lazing, I detest being kept inside and staring a screen for 80% of my week. Unfortunately I had to give up my little job at the antique place because I won’t be around in the holiday season and I can’t really be depended to work every weekend where I have to interact with people professionally.  A horse place I can handle, because I figure they’ll be more like me here… with any luck.  Its not a huge loss because it wasn’t supposed to be a long term thing, i only wanted a bit of income until i found something full time.


I’ve also been spending a lot of time working on my novel that I was supposed to try and finish this year, but I ended up falling a little behind. Right now I’m scouting around for possible literary agents that might enjoy my work but that’s slightly tedious as I know what I write is very good, but I don’t know that an agent will but I suppose we’ll see what it brings. I realize I’ll be facing a shite tone of rejections and it can take years before books get published, but all the more time to improve I suppose. Lately I’ve just been feeling the inspiration I was been lacking in New England so my fingers are truly growing numb with considering how much write  (hand write + type) when I should be working. I do my job but when there’s nothing else on my agenda I will write. Some days, much like today, I had nothing to do and wrote from 8am till around 4.30pm or whenever I’ll finish revising this blog draft. And realized something, something it’s taken years for me to realize. I am born to tell stories; whether it is on stage with an audience or whether it is through poetry and prose. It doesn’t matter. I have often imagined the life of a writer and what it’s like. The more I write and force myself to make time for it the more I realize that that’s for the life of me. I can be anywhere in the world and I can tell a story. Every day around 8:30am I do my writing exercise and each becomes a beautiful little prose of unimpeded emotion that needed to be filtered from my heart in order to make more progress with the main works. I’ve actually been toying with the idea of creating a little book of all my small exercise pieces, however as you can imagine I have many ideas in the works as I always am apt and so nothing will probably become of any. That’s fine, at least I bled to try.

I don’t know what the future will bring, and I don’t know that right now that’s so very important to me – what’s important is what we’re doing now. Planning trips to deadwood, guest ranches, Denmark and planning weekends at home with pizza, historical documentaries and picture editing. Don’t get me wrong I have an outline of things I’d like to do. Hopefully I’ll be taking a class at the University and in the spring I’ll be applying to attend the school of horseshoeing in Cheyenne. I genuinely hope this can come to fruition but it depends a lot on saving up the funds in time. I don’t even know that I’ll be good at it, but I want to give it a try as I’ve done everything else that interested me up till now. So I’m not about to stop learning and doing new things.  Besides I’m still holding on to that dream of my own farm with a horse shoeing station in the barn and a view of Nevada or Texas or even Wyoming outside the rolling door. Its right there next to the tall ship dream but whichever one comes is more than welcome, but for right now I’m living the cowboy life and it mostly feels like a dream.

I think for now that’s enough from me.

side tracked

I haven’t been side tracked, but the blog has been put on the proverbial burner — something you probably figured considering i neglected to write for over a month.
As of late everything has been slowly falling into place. Most of my days i spend writing. Last week i managed to get through the parts of my novel that were a mystery to me for so long and had proven bothersome —  now i’m on the home stretch.  I can see the end and i’m full of beans, high as a kite, bright eyed and bushy tailed, whatever it is positive people spout when life gives them a break in the dark.
When i haven’t been writing and working 8 to 5, we’ve been enjoying having our evenings + weekends back now that i finished drivers ed. Thus far we’ve been knocking things off our to-do list consistently since we’ve arrived in Wyoming.  This weekend we’ve been out mustang chasing, photographing and caring for a wounded bird that curled up by our back door Saturday morning.  The bird issue was NOT on my list however– surprisingly  when we took it to the vet they refused to help us and animal control/wildlife centers are closed during weekends. Thus it fell to us to put the birds leg into a splint with antibiotics, and it seems to be much better this morning. With any luck it’ll have wind beneath its wings as soon as possible. Hopefully we can keep it comfortable as possible without stressing the shit out of it.
Anyway I guess you can assume that life is pretty great, or gone to all kinds of hell, when i’m not blogging. Nevertheless  i should attempt to remember to write when things go well, and not just when i’m in the mood for an unmerciful diatribe at the expense of some ignorant fool who was brave enough to cross me.

But i digress and this blogpost is finished.

Adieu.

In a desert amongst the American mustangs with my books on my mind, and food.