It’s another Monday night, and another day closer to the weekend. Boy i started counting down Sunday night. You bet i did.
Tonight i was supposed to go to the horse rescue but it showed to be far too cold to do anything, so only the feeders went out there this evening. I really wanted to go out there to get to know everyone more and to get over my anxiety a little. The more often i go the quicker that feeling subsides and i can feel like i can get more deeply involved. When i get anxious i stand in my own way, for example i wont go ahead and do something i know how to do unless i’m told. I’ll let someone show me how to do something even if i already know how to do it. See what i’m saying? Then later that’ll piss me off that i didn’t just go ahead and do it in the first place.
Nevertheless I’ll be going back on Wednesday to film some riding and lunging for an adoption video, maybe take a few pictures too. I haven’t brought the big camera out there yet but i look forward to the results. Hopefully i’ll be doing some lunging with Isabella Bird (27 year old thoroughbred who is the sweetest). I’d love to adopt her myself but i have no place to keep her — same with Prada the Arabian Princess. They are such sweethearts.
But if we’re moving again, which we most likely will, it’s just not possible for me to get a horse right now.
It sucks that UW ruined Wyoming, because Wyoming is one of the most beautiful states i’ve ever seen in my life. Christ. The stuff of a little 6 years olds dreams of cowboys and campfires and wild horses.
It’s been a good 15 years or more since i lunged a horse, so you can bet your arse im out of practice. I also haven’t worked at barn for a year and a half now. It’s incredibly frustrating to stand in your own way, and i battle and beat my head against it daily. So even though all this socialising stresses me and worries me, i really love the company so far. Easy people to get a long with and they really want the best for the equines they care for. Not to mention that they seem more than happy to let me “in.” I kinda already feel like part of the group though i’m not as educated in the nature of horses as they are. I’m an actor after all, not an equestrian. But what more could you want from new experiences? I think i’m pretty bad ass for going against my own insecurities and telling them to go to hell. I might be a lone bear who likes the company of crickets, but this time i found folks i like.
I had my first real “shift” so to speak on Saturday, and it was a great day with good company. I felt a little unsteady at first but i think given some time i’ll soon get back into the swing. Because we keep moving, as soon as i get settled in a place, it all goes down the drain then i have to start over again. And thanks to UW i’m sure it’ll happen at least one more time. However, i will say when we go out on adventures or i go to this place — it makes it easier to deal with the mundane weekdays that drain life outta me, not completely —– but some. Also — i love this damn cat. Holy crap.
Sometimes i feel like an imposter walking around in boots & cowboy hats, with a laconic state of mind, being so foreign and trying to hustle in with the real cowkids and western girls on horse back, but they really make me feel welcome at this new place, which is totally new to me. Exciting stuff.
Anyway i filmed a few clips and will be making a video of my first day there which i can’t wait to share with you. Yesterday we also took a trip to Cheyenne where i filmed all day for the fun of it. I think it’ll be “A day in Wyoming” type of video but we’ll see how that goes with time and all.
My dad might not be from Tennessee, my step father doesn’t sing the ballads in a dive bar and my mother isn’t some Southern woman who taught me to be the perfect pioneer wife. I’m just a lost little kid walking around this big world trying everything life has to give me. Missing all those i left behind in sad and bad and pretty home places. Finding my way through fields and mountains and plains and state to state to state. I get a little closer as it goes, but i know the feeling of being an imposter may haunt me a good long year or two yet. If you look at me now though, sitting on this here rock and thinking over all the places i’ve seen and the one guy that showed me what love was like?
I don’t have that much to complain about.
Happy Monday — see you again soon.
I am home for christmas!!
I hope you’re all doing really well. Denmark is gloomy and laddened with fog, and has been since we arrived. I’ve missed the dark winter days of Scandinavia. Its so cozy and peaceful. I miss it even more now that im here if you can believe it!
I’m currently blogging from my phone as i didnt want to lug my laptop around with me. I hope this works so i have easier access to blogging on the go. Anyone else ever use their phone for blogging?
I wont be loading camera pics while im away, but i actually love to just include phone pics because its easier sometimes and makes a nice change ya’ know?
We arrived a few days ago but it took about two or three days to get over the jet lag. Yesterday we went to Kolding to see mormor, morfar and farmor. We also did some christmas shopping and had pizza for dinner at the mall with my mum. It was a great day but we were completely exhausted .. our body clocks are running on empty. I visited my favourite shops and got a few goodies in the clearance. I will never buy full price if i can avoid it.
I utterly stuffed my face with as much ryebread as physically possible since i got here. Its a little disgusting hahaha. I wish i could eat it everyday at home but i can’t bake it successfully yet, especially in Wyoming with the altitude.
The trip here was awful, i wont pussyfoot about it. Terrible! There was a baby with the shits onboards and almost right next to us so the air was tainted in baby poo… imagine smelling the same baby shit for 9 hours. I was livid. Said baby also cried the entire way. We have bwen lucky with our trips to Dk but this one was shite. The lady next to Jack was practically in his lap, and completrly crazy, the whole time and we only managed to get to the bathroom once when she ventured awat muttering sweet nothings to herself.
But we had no real delays or issues. It was pretty painless. My film for my polaroid was destroyed evem though i requested them to hand check it but it was still put through the xray. But oh well!
Today we spent a lovely day in Bogense where i bought some Danish childrens book and a Norwegian christmas book. I also got some 100% wool yarn and cotton/linen yarn on sale. There are two lovely yarn shops in Bogense with beautiful wool yarn in stunning shades but they were very expensive. When i get paid maybe i could buy some. Its the type of yarn i wish i could in the USA but i still havent found it there yet.
Anyway, i must leave you as i am getting tired. With any luck you’ll get to go gome for Christmas too. God jul!
Thanks for reading!
I haven’t been side tracked, but the blog has been put on the proverbial burner — something you probably figured considering i neglected to write for over a month.
As of late everything has been slowly falling into place. Most of my days i spend writing. Last week i managed to get through the parts of my novel that were a mystery to me for so long and had proven bothersome — now i’m on the home stretch. I can see the end and i’m full of beans, high as a kite, bright eyed and bushy tailed, whatever it is positive people spout when life gives them a break in the dark.
When i haven’t been writing and working 8 to 5, we’ve been enjoying having our evenings + weekends back now that i finished drivers ed. Thus far we’ve been knocking things off our to-do list consistently since we’ve arrived in Wyoming. This weekend we’ve been out mustang chasing, photographing and caring for a wounded bird that curled up by our back door Saturday morning. The bird issue was NOT on my list however– surprisingly when we took it to the vet they refused to help us and animal control/wildlife centers are closed during weekends. Thus it fell to us to put the birds leg into a splint with antibiotics, and it seems to be much better this morning. With any luck it’ll have wind beneath its wings as soon as possible. Hopefully we can keep it comfortable as possible without stressing the shit out of it.
Anyway I guess you can assume that life is pretty great, or gone to all kinds of hell, when i’m not blogging. Nevertheless i should attempt to remember to write when things go well, and not just when i’m in the mood for an unmerciful diatribe at the expense of some ignorant fool who was brave enough to cross me.
But i digress and this blogpost is finished.
It’s been wonderful. Scary. Stressful x 10. Hard. Exhausting. But we’re here and we’re making it work. Many things have happened already.