what happens on friday nights

It happened in the blink of an eye, immediately after i complained on my instagram about having no place to do horse-y things …I found a place.
I came across a non profit horse revival organisation that helps horses in need. And its in town. Crazy — cause i’ve been looking for  places like that since before i even stepped foot in Laramie. I went to a few and never heard anything back when i attempted to reach out after our original meetings. But this one i found out about yesterday morning, sent in my form a little after lunch and had set up a casual meeting at 5.30pm that afternoon.

I left work early, i figured it was owed to me as i arrived earlier than expected in the morning. Jack picked me up from work and we went home, i threw on whatever farm gear i had handy and left, lickity split.
The sun down is always beautiful on that edge of town and everything was beautiful hues of pink and soft purple. The mountains in the distance were already cuddled up to bed.
The people i met were lovely, wonderful and happy people. Folks that you like the moment you meet them. For me thats saying a lot. They treat horses with respect and don’t act like they’re some fluffy teddy bear to show around like a fairy on a string. This non profit is working its bones and doing whatever they can to help what ever horse they can. And i am honoured to be able to become even a little part of it.

Prada – the sweet arabian princess.

This afternoon i’ll be going back to get my hands dirty and trying to get into a swing. I’m a little nervous as i always am when it comes to new things, but im so excited too. I hope i can remember what i’ve learnt over the years, by law im not really a “horse person” like the others around here or anywhere. I didn’t grow up living in it. I grew up chasing it, but this is a great start in a good place. I’ll update you when i can about how it goes.

I hope you enjoy the little video i made of my first trip out there today.
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brace yourself

Im trying to brace myself. Everyone is out of the office till the rest of the week and im absolutely taling advantage of that. Ive finished my writing exercise for the day and been looking for the 100th time for a single agent i feel positive about. Just to be a wee bit ahead 0f whatever game it is that im playing. I found three that i think i might be fantastic. Whether they’ll think the same of me is the hard part. We shall see.

Now. Ive had an obligatory office donut, i chose the one with almonds, and so for the rest of the day i will be writing my novel. Until around 2.30 when i steal away to the student center and kiss with Jack Kerouac for an hour. I would rather be home watching Secret Window of course. A weird movie to inspire someone but its my favourite film and i think of it often to get myself into the spirit of writing.

Lately ive had a few issues with HR at work which is why im so overly stressed and thinnly strung, but none of that now.

Now for my sweet characters that are ready to be laid to rest from me and live on in a book.

how is it already sunday?

I don’t understand how it’s already Sunday. Wasn’t it Friday just two hours ago?
Though i suppose if you don’t really live for your day job , free time goes by faster than is necessary and is typically hard to come by. Due to particular circumstances my job has become incredibly busy lately — which doesn’t give me much time to work on my novel like i have been; unfortunately my mood is suffering something fierce from being stifled like that. As a creative person i have to do something artistic or meaningful everyday. It’s the whole point, and when that is taken away, even a little, i become a little bit of a nuisance. I get mad, rude and shut myself away. I would leave my job for less than that, if i didn’t thrive from the pay-check at the end of the month. I still have yet to receive a full pay-check and i’ve been working here since September/August time. How is that possible?

The good thing is that this means i have to really force myself to work on my novel at home, something that i’ve mentioned that i find pretty hard. When I’m home I’m exhausted from having to be around people all day and i just want to sit doing nothing, maybe play some bass or piano but i don’t want to bleed into my book when I’m already drained. However, thats just not how it works. If i’d worked on my book at work and at home — i’d have been finish a year ago.
And thus i’ve decided to try to focus more on my writing and my reading and in that regard i will be letting the social media disappear a little. I wont be doing anything extra. I’ll stick to writing, cooking dinner and occasionally swashbuckling with the swords in the yard when the weather is kind. On a side note I’ve started reading two books — one called the Modern cowboy and the other Below the Convergence about Antarctica expeditions.  Are you reading any books?

Although I have contacted the local theatre again. I contacted them last year about auditioning but then i ended up not being able to dedicate my evenings to them. However i contacted them again about participating in a monthly reading. They host an evening where people bring in their plays, and the actors sit about and read them for an audience — then a discussion ensures but i might sneak out the back door at that point. Something i’m commonly known for is disappearing when my job is over. I hang about to help back stage but i refuse to participate in the false pleasantries. It’s a very American thing to stand and talk to the audience outside the theatre afterwards and let them tell you who they loved you. Not that it didn’t happen in England too… people i worked with loved to hear compliments about their performance. I never needed them and i still don’t. I bleed on stage like i do in my books, so when i’m finished –  my job is done and the rest is none of my business. It would be nice to do some decent theatre in America. So far New England was a pretty terrible experience.  Crazy directors sending me emails about taking vitamin D, being unable to work with actors …  and the actors themselves having too big egos and lacking in the ability to actually….act.
Huntsville Texas was pretty damn weird too, but i hold out hope that i’ll find a place that fits me. For me acting has to be fun. No bitching or biting or back chatting each other. Life is too dang short.

Cowboy on the prarier
Sunday Vibes

Other than that — not much is happening. We’re looking into leaving and finally ended up some place back in Texas but thats a lot of work and most likely a few months off. We’re hoping to get a visit to Deadwood in before we go and seeing a few historic places when the weather clears up. We’ve toyed with the thought of moving to the US Virgin Island or the old Danish Caribbean islands like St John or St Croix, but the crime might be the damn kicker. I don’t fancy my chances in a place with gang violence. If you could move anywhere — where would you go?

I hope you’re all having a wonderful weekend, and the it takes a long while for Monday to come around.

i got accepted!

I got accepted!

Hang on. Let me go back. I wrote this blogpost on Monday and a lot has happened since then. Let’s rewind so you know what i’m talking about.

“Monday came around too damn fast like she always does. I’m currently watching “I hus til halsen” and drinking iced tea at work. I’ve finished my writing exercise for today and just need to psych myself up to begin working on my novel. There’s not much for me to do at work right now – emails are answered, projects completed on Friday and so until I hear anything else – this time becomes me time. I’m looking forward to lunch too. I’m trying to get back into my fasting meaning I eat from 12.00pm till around 7/8.00pm.  Sometimes I miss the deadline in the evening because I get home late from work and have to shower, then make dinner. But I stick to it as best I can. The only time I let loose is on the weekends. This weekend I went for a run in the snow and it just put my heart back in its place, after having been broken from leaving home.

I’m still eagerly refreshing my emails to see if the horseshoeing school has returned with a verdict for me. I mentioned signing up in my previous blogpost that you can read here. They said it’d take a couple of weeks for them to review my application, but I’m checking consistently since I applied – which was 4 days ago.  I’m just too damn excited! In the mean time I’ve been researching my butt off, reading everything I can about the experience and what it entitles. I found a great link to an article detailing what I can expect, you can read it here, and now I’m pumped. I really hope they accept me, because I think I’d be damn good at this as a profession. At the moment I have been between books and unable to decide what I’m in the mood for but I’m figuring that I’ll pick up my hoof care and farrier books, perhaps try to get a head start if possible with the general knowledge part of the course. I don’t want to walk in without an idea.

I would really have like to have taken the 8 weeks course but I don’t currently have to funds for that. Besides, I don’t want to pay an insane amount for such a long course to find out it’s not for me, worst case scenario of course. I also don’t know that I’ll even be in Wyoming all that long because my paper heart already flew off to Texas without me, sodding thing.
So the two week course is perfect for me right now. Later on I plan to attend a Farrier school in Texas when I’m all settled and that’ll be the long one. And I suppose that’s my current career plan – that and writing of course. Writing is constantly on my mind. If I had the ability to take a month off I believe my book would be finished, and I can then focus of my book of poetry and moral ramblings.

Girl in the woods
Lingering on future plans in the dark nordic woods at home.

Hopefully we’ll buy our own land and I can have an old blacksmith shop by the barn in some picturesque rugged country on the Lone Star panhandle. I want to wake up before sunset every day and smoke a pipe before I start work.  And I’m closer to my dream now than I’ve ever been. It all depends on whether I get in.  I wouldn’t be able to survive on an artist’s wage until some publisher discovered my books and paid me the price. I don’t want to be rich — I want to be happy, but I’ve received such wonderful and  supportive feed back on my writing lately that im in awe of you all. Thank you.

So I plan to work as a farrier to help fill my coffers. With any the land we acquire, that wonderful day ahead of us, will be large enough for filming westerns and shorts. Jack and I already have a few ideas in our notebooks we’d like to try. We have a few creative friends in Texas we plan on getting involved. My bridesmaid for one – I will make can actor out of him if I kills me. He’s like the Woodrow Call to Jacks Gus McCrea. And if this point is reached my horses will be rescues that need a place to sleep, retire and somewhere the sun can warm their backs all year long. Sweet Texas. I’ll use them for film work to, but the choice will ultimately be theirs.
Do you hear that? That empty sound is the noise of my empty pockets before I even began to dream. Haha. I’ve never let money stop me. Money is nothing, it helps but it won’t stop me getting there or wherever. Right now we’re working for our dreams and it’s exciting really, hard but exciting. Now I don’t know how well this plan will work out, or if it’ll ever come to fruition at all; but it’s a plan I’m loving the sound of. And for as long as my current job lasts I’ll do what I have to and write as much as I can and save every penny.

I’d also like to eventually donate farrier services to charity horse sanctuaries that I care about when I feel I have the skill. There’s a particular one I cherish and hope to visit in Santa Fe New Mexico one day (and another in Argyle, TX). We could take two weeks, drive over there, trim their hooves and volunteer.  I’d like to build up a happy and trusting relationship with clients that won’t drive me crazy, and live happily in my blacksmithing, acting and writing. Why it’s such a crazy-ass dream that I fill up with joy just writing about it. I think we can make it happen.”

Back to today. I’ve truly struggled with the novel the last few days and yesterday was a little miserable for me. However, today i received a phone call — that i ignored; i never pick up the phone. And there was no voice mail message left. Madam forgot that she had turned off her mobile data — i turned it on and there in my inbox that was bursting at its seams was a 19 voice mail from Cheyenne Wyoming.
“Could it be? They’ve said no. I bet thats it. After the week i’ve already had this will top it off.”
“Bella! We want to talk to you about to application to the Wyoming School of Horse shoeing — please call back.”

Close up of a donkey
This handsome Nebraska burro.

I rushed to the union student center for my lunch and eagerly called. The lady was so lovely and excited, i’ve been accepted. $1900 for the two weeks and an addition $1400 for tools. The tools caught me unawares but i’m willing to pay it to make sure i have exactly what i need.
But it made my day, my week and i am so excited to live on their ranch for two weeks with the bison, horse shoeing activities and the all the other experiences. I really wasn’t sure i’d be accepted! She even said, as i live quite close, that i could come and take a look around the place before i pay for the course to be sure. I’m hoping to converse with her again asap to arrange a time to go there and meet her.

Anyway. I got accepted!!! Im so ecstatic. The happiness i feel about this farrier school business that it makes up for losing out on the class i desperately wanted to do at UW. Im so grateful for Jack helping me and being there every step of the way. I really couldn’t live the life that i do without him. Hug your others tonight, the deserve it.

Thanks for reading this long blog post.
I hope you’re all doing well.

20 hours & the daily grind

I’m back on the daily grind, running on very little sleep and Danish withdrawal symptoms. I’ve been listening to a fun Danish podcast all morning which helps fool my brain into thinking home isn’t all that far away. But its 2 days away and shit tonne of miles. This was the longest trip of my damn life but in the best kept company.


20 hrs
The start of 20 hours in an airport.. when you’re already exhausted

We were stuck in Heathrow for 20 hours, and it was horrible. We spent our time watching Father Ted, i played on the baby grand in Terminal 3 till the early hours of the morning, and we watched the night mice scrounging for old food under the seats. A lady told me  we weren’t allowed to take pictures. We promptly cussed her out under bated breath. After i finished taking my pictures of course. Unfortunately due to her interuption i missed my mouse picture, however, out of pure stubborness i just took pictures of chairs to piss her off.

Suitcases
Lunch at Heathrow

I haven’t been to Heathrow since i was little, but by christ its an awful airport now. Cramped, dirty and seriously over priced. If i wanted walk behind people who aimlessly stand around in awe of the fucking ceiling… holy shit. The good thing about being there so long was the easy access to all the hot and spicy monster munch i wanted, and pink lemonade lucozade too. Love that shit. I found that a lot of the food i thought i missed wasn’t as great as i remembered, but i expect i’ll miss it something fierce just the same. We also had a lovely evening dinner at a fancy place which i forget the name of. I got a pizza and Jack had fish amd chips. Not too shabby.

Boots on suitcase
People watching while Jack sleeps

I got next to no sleep. I cannot for the life of me sleep sitting up or with strangers around. Im always on high alert in an airport. We’d found a quiet terminal to sit in when the airport closed, but were shooed out like vermin around 1.30am by some rude little asshole with teeth spuing from the roof of his mouth. He said we could leave the airport, which wouldve caused a shit tonne of trouble as Jack didnt have a visa .. but he insisted that didnt matter just to get us to leave. We refused and were rushed to terminal 5 where all the other people on long stints were kept like gerbils in a sardine case. He actually shouted at us when he had to repeat himself because he had an accent and too much saliva in his mouth. Talk fucking clearly and maybe not at 9283mph. Damn. As you can see im still pretty aggravated about it, but you dont talk to people like that just because your dumb ass wants to get home to an empty flat with rot of the walls, so you can masturbate over women you cant afford. I didnt tell him that, because i have a habit og making people cry so i said my please and thank yous and rolled out all the polites. Idiot.

Suitcases
Almost 34 hours later and we’ve finally landed in America

The flight was comfortable, we sat in two relatively private seats at the very back of the plane. We had plenty of room and we were about as comfortable as we could be in economy. No screaming babies neither. Thank fuck for that.

Pastel sunset
Back to the daily grind

After the two bus rides and a car ride we finally arrived home. Worse for wear and tired as all hell, slightly agrieved by idiots in airports. I actually had trouble leaving Billund because of my name, but the girl was clearly lacking education and common sense, thinking she could take on my mother. Not to mention Jack who, just by insisting helped talk them i to accepting my LEGAL greencard. Anyway we showered the world away and had walmart pizza. I dont remember much else.

Sun up
Hello Wyo!

And then it was straight up the next morning to go to work. 36hours or so of travelling and little sleep as well as lack of patience. And back on the daily grind for us. What champs we are, but would you look at the sun up we were greeted with this morning? Like a kiss in a candy shop.