bella’s binge-worthy tv series to get you through quarantine

I’ve been busy lately. Emotionally i’ve incredibly unavailable and trying to keep my head above the water line. Last week was hell for a number of reasons, of which i wont go into. I’ve been working a lot on some of my bigger blog posts that i’ve been meaning to publish for a few months but  as they require adjoining videos it becomes a little more time consuming. With a full time job i don’t have as much available free time to complete them  as i’d like — all the while editing my book too. So i’m in the middle of a juggle act really. I am getting there though.

So while i keep working on these big blog posts and youtube videos i have compiled a list for those of your struggling through quarantine.
These are my favourite shows that i’m binge watching right now.

Deadwood, as always.

– A western series with lots of “What the fuck?” “Cocksucker!” And sly little fart comments. Not a secret that this is one of my top favourite television series — one i wish i’d been in! Deadwood is incredible. Its like Shakespeare but with fuck & cunt being thrown around like boiled sweets. Its beautifully filmed, a slow burning western and just all around a phenomenal show. Joanie Stubbs is a perfect representation of who i am when i’m depressed, and Calamity Jane Canary is me the rest of the time. Dead drunk on a mouthful of words and farting during the breaks. Give it a go. I believe it’s on HBO. They also just came out with a movie after a decade of all of us waiting and i wept like a child.

The Terror

– A nautical horror series. This is fantastic and one of the best things about my halloween month. I love watching this. Its got boats, spook and phenomenal cinematics. AND HISTORY. I particularly enjoy this as its very historically accurate but also embodies the sailors & Inuit superstitions. Something i’m very interested in and grew up reading about. Fave subject as it goes. Great show. Truly. For those horror fans out there — this is it. More a psychological thriller but it does the trick pretty good.

Hap & Leonard

– What can i say about Hap & Leonard? The books are incredible and remind me of my life in Huntsville, TX. Jack always managed to get us into some really fucked up shit that was always worth writing about. And this is what this show is like. Joe Lansdale, the author, is a god among us, and one i’d happily pray for. This show amaaaaazing. The characters are so well written and the shit they get into is nuts. And again, it proves that living in Texas is just one hell of a wild and dangerous ride worth living with your best friend. Watch it. It was unfortunarely cut short because it was amazing and we’re not allowed nice things. Thanks poor logic uppity ups. Still — the three seasons we did get are gold.


– A quiet, nordic feel crime show set on the Shetland. I love it. Great cinematography, characterisation and plot lines. I really enjoy having this on – its comforting to me. I never lived in Scotland but it was where i’d probably have run to if i hadn’t got on a plane to tropical Texas. It has a great nordic influence just as the island itself does. Making it a great relatable mix.

Doc Martin

– I am Doc Martin. Not as intelligent when it comes to doctoring but he is literally me. Watch this and then you know exactly how i am in real life. I enjoy watching this because i grew up in a little English town just like Portwenn, with the same kind of folks and the sea just outside my window and a school almost identical. With exactly the same uniforms. Sometimes i actually can’t watch this because it makes me homesick and gives me a nostalgic feeling i despise. I hate looking back even at good memories, but this show is wonderful. Think this is one Acorn TV. I only recently found out i hadn’t watched this finished.. i thought it stopped at season 6 or 7 … but theres more!

Are you being served?

– Jack introduced me to this show, i think i’d seen a clip or two when i was really young but i didn’t fall in love with it until i met Jack. Now i force him to watch it. Always. We just finished watching it as our night show before bed. It’s a live theatre performance with a real audience. The characters are epic and its incredibly funny. Just. Go watch it for yourself. Its on Britbox. Its almost on par with Mr.Bean but not as genius.

Death in Paradise

– Also on Britbox, its just an easy & cute show about caribbean murders; but with an English police chief. Its your typical soft core Poirot or Agatha Christy type stuff. A little predictable but nice to have on and doesn’t require much brainpower.

Miami Vice

– Good old 80’s tv show. It’s got the great music, the 80’s hotties and a bunch of crime. I love it. It’s like playing Grand Theft Auto – Vice City on the pc all over again. I’d also like to be in a sandwich with Sonny & Tubs, but we all do. It was one of those shows you don’t want to end with characters you feel like you’ve lived with so long you can’t fathom saying goodbye. Awesome visuals and makes ya wanna move to Miami — if you ignore the crime. Of course.

Cold Case Files

– This is just a really well done crime show narrated by Danny Glover, on Netflix. Its really well filmed and thats part of why i like to watch it. I also like it because this is what we all lived on in Denmark during my Christmas holiday. My brother, Jack, mum and i all sat watching this for days without leaving the house. It was so cozy. Nothing like family bonding over a good cold case about rape, murder and missing children. Doesn’t paint us in a good light, but seriously — very well done crime series.

Writing this list has really shown me how much i enjoy crime shows and westerns…. i like Hell on Wheels too but it doesn’t compare at all with Deadwood for me. I can watch Deadwood over and over but Hell of Wheels didn’t grip me in the same way which is why it didn’t make the list. What tv shows are you binging right now? Got any suggestions for me?

a small Q&A during quarantine 2020

Hello everyone!
I hope you’re all doing well and social distancing yourselves as best you can. Its Friday again and i’m relieved to say the least. I can’t wait to have two days completely to myself to do whatsoever i want. This weekend i hope to work on some more novel editing and reading mostly. I’d like to work on camera things like some filming but right now my main priority is my book. I can’t keep putting it off.
A few days ago i asked you to send me questions on my instagram stories. Due to having changed my entire instagram feed to be what i wanted it to be i didn’t get too many responses back — but that works for me. Start small and work your way up, right? This is my first Q&A and i got a lot of the same questions so i picked the top five.

Where & how did you meet Jack?
This is the question i got asked a lot. I met Jack on facebook many years ago. We were both dressing up as pirates and connecting with the pirate community on the platform. I don’t recall whether he added me or i added him, but i do remember coming across his profile several times and thinking he looked like a total dick hole. Sorry handsome, but you know the story. Anyway. We were eventually friends on facebook and one day i posted a photograph of me with my dreads, piercings and summer freckles — to which Jack commented “You sure are pretty.” Back in my younger years i got compliments a lot on my facebook pictures, most of which went completely ignored, but for some reason i responded to Jack and said thank you. And we have been together ever since. We started talking to each other over facebook and then almost a year later he finally managed to persuade me to Skype video call with him. We did that a while. I’d fall asleep in front of the camera and end up snoring like a raped seal, but i stayed up till 5 in the morning my time to speak to him. Depending on the day we talked for almost 12 hours a day, everyday.  Then one day in November, he asked if i’d ever consider coming to Texas. I’d never been interested in America, or going there. I thought it was fall of crazy people, guns and it had been hyped up to something it wasn’t. And i wasn’t wrong, but i wouldn’t change it. So in January i visited Jack in Texas. Shitting myself when i finally reached Houston and realised i was not equipped or prepared because i’m a “live in the moment” type of kid. I was only supposed to stay for two weeks. I stayed my full three month allowance. That was it. Its one of the best and only things i have ever done for myself, truly & 100%.
If you’re interested you can actually watch my video about meeting Jack and coming to America on youtube. I use a lot more words and might make you giggle once or twice.  

What brought you to Wyoming?
To put it bluntly — we wanted to get the hell out of New England. We were hoping for Texas or Nevada, but the Wyoming job got there first. I think now its a little up for debate whether we wished we’d just stayed put a little longer. We like Wyoming — the place. But everything else is nuts and so now we’re waiting for Covid-19 to pass so that we can run back to the safety of Texas where our story started. As i said, we like Wyoming but our jobs have entirely ruined our viewpoint and pretty much infect our living here. There are particular things that don’t work, and when the work situation sucks and its your 8 to 5 — thats a big deal of your life being a fucking health hazard. I wouldn’t change coming to Wyoming — i love the area and the scapes, the horses, the sun and the stars, i’ve accomplished a lot but i’ve also been fucked over tenfold — and its not Texas. And if im not in England or Denmark. It has to be Texas now. I don’t care where in Texas, as long as it isn’t Beaumont. If i had my choice it’d be somewhere near Galveston or there abouts. Far enouhg away to escape a hurricane but close enough to live on my boat for the weekend should i choose to. So i can get back on the water but still have a horse in my yard. I think i’ve mentioned it previously, but what i will give to Wyoming is that it inspired me and got me excited to finish my book. And i did that. Now its time to get the fuck out and find home, where i can have animals again.

Are there moments your wild heart finds peace?
In short. No. I’ll have peace when i’m dead, whenever that may be; but it ain’t today and it ain’t tomorrow. Nevertheless there are things that set my heart racing in good ways. When i write and im just pouring out years of thoughts and pain into a story, its a therapy for me. I actually tested it. My resting heart rate on my fitbit is approximately 50, but when i’m on a writing roll it speeds up to 120 if that tells you anything about living for a feeling. My words spew out at the same speed my heart beats. Thats evidence right there that writing is in the system and part of my journey as much, if not more, than other skills i was born with. My old heart slows down when i’m sailing because that is my happy place, my good and easy haven. But my heart is never at peace, however it finds safety in my creativity some times and thats what i have to hold on to. Life with pretty severe depression is a hard hard battle that never ends, some days are bad and others are worse. But the proof is in the writer and on her thighs and arms. Im still here doing whatever the hell i want. Working to live and keeping the child alive as long as i can.  

What is your latest writing project?
Right now, as you know, im editing the novel. However i’ve started working on my second novel which is a nautical piece i’ve been toying around with since Halloween. I’ve been writing short train of thoughts for a collection of work i’d eventually like to start. I don’t want to only write novels or magazine articles. I’d like to write poetry again or word vomit prose. I used to write a lot comedy skits and plays too — im hoping i can get back to all of those things. Maybe even a short film script here and there.

How is life in the USA and in the countryside?
Life in America is a trail ride. Its so god damn hard sometimes that i lose sight of where im going and forget who i was, and where i came from. It’s rough. Its scary and its sometimes lonely when homesickness kicks in — and it does. A lot. Having said that. I’m very lucky. I wont say that America is the perfect land of opportunity, because many-a time i’ve known it to stop me, but i have genuinely done everything i’ve ever wanted to try since i was a child. And that is a gift not given to many. In fact i don’t know anyone that lives the way i do, always hoping to for-fill another childish dream before i die. I said yes to going to Texas, i listened to my heart when it cried Jack and i have tried to pursue everything with vigour. I’ve ridden in the back end of Texas on a good horse, in Wyoming and New Hampshire to boot. I’ve sailed in England, Denmark, Texas and New Hampshire as much as i could. I’ve been on stage all places and had a camera with me every step of the journey.  I’ve even had chances to work on and off filming projects. And now here i am with a finish book to try and publish. Life is tough but life is a dream. I might not be gods photographer but every part of my life i have in pictures, something inside by my great grandmothers little scrap books she doodled all over as her mind began to disappear with our names. One day when i’m long long gone — there wont be a doubt in anyones mind where i’ve been and the adventurous wild life i had, and all the while being absolutely fucking clinically crazy. So dont let that stop you.

Thank you to those of you who sent questions for this little post and i hope i answered well enough to hold your interest a while. With any luck you enjoyed my answers and this post — you genuinely made it possible. Let me know if you want more Q&A posts. I’m considering doing one every now and again perhaps monthly. Let me know what you think or if you have any questions for the next one!
Have a wonderful weekend and be good.

My mini creative studio by the fire place. Theres actually a little chirpin’ birds nest in our chimney and when the television is out you can hear the little babies peepin’ and weepin’ for food. Its quite comforting.

working from home

I’ve been working from home since last Monday, trying not to leave the house as much as possible. Only leaving to go and help at the barn or going grocery shopping. So really right now is a perfect time to be editing that novel i’ve been so excited about, but i’ve been trying to avoid it like the plague. I don’t know what i’ll do when i’ve finished editing it. The thought of reaching out to that first literary agent is daunting and reaching out to the possible hundreds after that, just as daunting — so with that in mind i’m trying to keep myself in limbo so i wont have to deal with all those rejections on top of being made to feel like shite during my work day. It just wont do — and i know that. Now i truly my force myself to look at it face to face and finish the damn thing, the last leg.
I’d been hoping that i’d be able to spend my lunches taking a quick run around the block and then sitting down with my manuscript before going back to work, however since working from home — i haven’t even had time to take lunches during the day or any kind of a break for that matter.
Everyone is busy losing their minds and piling their work onto me because they dont know what to do themselves. I really hope it all will settle down soon so i can at least get a break.

As for COVID-19. Im not that concerned, i’m not panicking or bulk buying. It wont do any good. I’m just staying home and doing my thing, getting the projects done that need doing, finishing this and that. Jack and i take a walk in the evenings in places that people are very sparse. We’re quite enjoying not being surrounded by people constantly. Its surprising how even this town in the middle of Wyoming can feel so damn   cramped.  This pandemic has solidified that Laramie isn’t long term, just a week or so ago i thought i wanted to stay — with a new job it’d be fine. No, it wont and i was probably kidding myself. I love Medicine Bow and the amazing landscapes surrounding us, but everything else is a battle. It’s time for us to return home, and whilst i will probably never live in Denmark again — Texas will be the closest i’ll ever have to home for the rest of my life. I’m already considering packed boxes and getting rid of our clutter and this COVID business helps make Texas seem like some sanctuary in all the madness.

The manuscript

Having said, all that, my personal life is pretty good. I’ve started playing and learning a new instrument. One that is completely different from the ones i’ve played all my life, so its very exciting and weird to be a “beginner” again. Im enjoying the process. I have also been trying to practice writing at home more — its just about creating the habit and keeping it going. Last night i woke up in the butt crack of night to write down notes for a new piece; whether its a poem, a short story or a novella i don’t quite know but its a brand new idea and those are always something to be proud of. You never know when those ideas might start drying up. I’m glad that even now, all these years later, im still able to fill notebooks and writing books with ideas and dreams and stories and lies. It’s good for the soul.

Lately i’ve been debating how to make the house we live in more “ours,” i suppose thats always unavoidable when you just want to buy your own place with acres and change it all up to fit your way — i’ve never owned a place before. But i want somewhere that i can convert into a Scandinavian haven with wooden floors, white walls, walls of books and wooden panels and fire places with reindeer blankets. It doesn’t need to be a big place, and i’d love a porch around the place to boot. Somewhere in North Texas so i can still get some snow, that’d be grand. Maybe with a lake or river near by so i can still get some boating in. With enough land for all those senior horses i’ve mentioned before.
I’m not much of a decorator, but i do have the inner minimalistic Danish streak when it comes to apartments and homes — and i do my best with what i have. I’d love for my place to look like a Danish Summer house. Cozy, hyggelig and quiet. I’m not willing to put money into a place that isn’t mine though of course, but i’d love to change a few things about the house just the same. So i’m considering a few ideas. Who knows what i’ll come up with? Do you own your own place? Do you have a knack for decorating and making places into safe havens?

Anyway, i’ll steal back to my manuscript and do some editing whilst we watch the Shining. Im sitting with my favourite blanket in front of the nordic looking space heater and leaning against Jack. This is what living is. No one to bother us none, and nothing we need to leave the house for.

I hope you’re all well and that you’re safe. Stay upbeat, and take the staying home as a gift. I sure am.