well, its spring — so its about time for my big danish christmas holiday blog post

I’ve been meaning to write about this and post my pictures for … well months now. I don’t even dare look at my abandoned line of drafted blog posts. I have some from as long ago as Huntsville Texas, if you can believe it. Anyway, i’ll write about the blog post now and try to remember the holiday as best i can.

When i go home its always hard, not as easy and full of sheer joy as i’m sure most of you would suppose. The more often i go home to more i feel like i shouldn’t leave or i shouldn’t come back again. Thats a terrible thing to say, i know and am well fucking aware — but it’s the truth. Coming home is the most difficult thing to do on the planet, when home is a place you’ve hardly seen all your mortal days. Being with family for a fleeting moment only to disappear again for years at a time. It feels like that pain is pointless and more trouble than its worth. Sounds like i’m not happy to see them doesn’t it? Well, of course i am happy to see them — but they don’t know me anymore just as i barely recognise them.

We went to Denmark for around 3 weeks, and i’m still paying for that privilege. My workplace is actually still charging me for the right to have taken a christmas vacation. They  ailed to make me aware when i brought it up in my interview, and a hundred times there after, to tell me that vacation on either side of the schools Christmas vacation means you pay for the whole damn thing. It’s May and I’m still losing $350 a month for taking this holiday. Thanks.

However, on to more happy posting from here. I noticed when i was blogging from my phone in denmark my blog views and so forth actually sky rocketed. I was so surprised and really unsure why that was the case, because i was posting pretty poor phone pictures (not from my Nikon or Canon or vintage cameras), and i was merely posting in between trips and visits while i was sitting my parents leather sofa watching crime programs; but it did some wonders for my blog traffic — so i’ve set it up so i can permanently blog from my phone and when my 8 to 5 isn’t the huge nuisance that it is, i plan to do more off hand little short travelling posts.

Mor showing us around the property our first morning.
God morgen. <3


Now this might sound terrible, but what i most looked forward to was seeing my cats again, they have always been so dear to me and they got me through a lot of bad times by sitting on my face or doing goofy stuff. So seeing Daisy and Charlie again made me so so happy — especially after losing Basil. I had some treasures back in my life, even if it was for a fleeting moment.

Daisy being mad at me for being gone so long and pretending she doesn’t want my attention, when she obviously wants my attention.
No place does foggy, gloom like mornings quite like Denmark.

My parents house is a fortress, and i love it. I wish i could spend more relaxed time there but considering my circumstances its not really feasible. The first few days we chilled with my mum to get over the jet lag, and it was fucking A, my brothers were in Denmark too which was a bonus. A few days later my Pap-Kent came home from a work trip and that was when we were all finally together again, all of us, since England some time ago. It was special, annoying and lovely. Hell knows when we’ll all be together again but it probably wont be for a while. Im thinking our next holiday will be to Disneyland or the Caribbean, but never say never!

My favourite boots in one of my favourite places.

Yes, i packed these heavy ass boots because i can’t go ANYWHERE without a pair of cowboy kickers. And i love this picture, because it really shows the contrast. These boots walk the desert and plains daily, yet for Christmas they waded through tall rich blades of grass on a little island in Denmark. Literally my life. A big cock up different cultures. These boots look a lot more worse for wear these days — all covered in dust and holding on spurs.

Den gamle øl bænk.
I woke up so early almost every morning of the holiday, and i’d grab my camera to watch the world wake up. Often Charlie would coming running to me when he heard me and together we’d go back in the house when everyone starting waking up.
The cute little town of Bogense a little ways from my parents place.

Jack the Texan in a little old Danish town, dressed as an Irishman.

Danish towns are really really special. Comforting. And i love walking through them and looking through the windows.


The day after Kent came home we went out to see the highland cattle and visit the farms store. The proprietor, a very lovely lady, let me in to the pastures to pet the cows and now i want one. Or fifty.

Messy baby just had breakfast. Beard got in the way.


We also got to meet her very talkative chickens that believed we were only there to meet them. They clucked and rapped and peep peep peeped with all the chicken gossip. Above you can see Pap-Kent with a bunch of chicks.


That same day we also visited the bison “ranch” and got see these beauties. Bison are some of my favourite animals. Almost right up there with the Texas Longhorn and the American mustang.





Obligatory picture of Norse Fjord horses in a nordic country.


After our little livestock trip we went out to get a christmas tree from a roadside elf attraction. Something i always loved as a child, and still do, is that Denmark has little places like this set up and it looks like a real little elfs house. Even in Kolding you’ll find Santas house and in the Christmas month you can go in and visit him. Its so festive and i’ve never see it any place else — and i’ve been a lot of places. Sweden and Norway probably do similar things.

Elf woman who sold us our tree.
More chickens that had something very special to tell me.


I want all the things. ALL.


Our christmas tree, and i think it ended up being the most beautiful we’ve ever had because almost all the kids decorated it together. After Christmas my mum set up the tree in her garden. She’s just like me. Doesn’t to see them die after being used for a month — so she decorated it for easter and its still happily planted in her back garden. But thats why we use plastic trees at home — because i refuse to pay money to cut them down only to use them for a month, and then throw them away because they’re a fire hazard and “ugly.”

Suzy, my sisters dog. On our way outside to shit in the most ridiculous places because dog.
That there is my brother Franck.

Daim and anything kinder is food of the gods.


On the 23rd we had Christmas with Farmor in Kolding. It was wonderful and just what i wanted. Quiet, relaxed and safe. The only place that never changes and im so grateful for that. Believe me. Christmas at Farmors house is always the best. Films, Danish christmas food and copious amounts of chocolates, sweets and such forth that i miss when im away.


The best part of Christmas is the roast duck and the desert.


Jack found the almond and wont the prize, 100kr — which Farmor had her eye on to take back if no- one found the almond.


Franck did not win. Franck was not happy.


Franck and i with Far Dall. <3


And our Swedish Aunty Connie. I was SO glad Jack got to meet her because she’s such a character, and we all laughed like witches.  <3


This is Monty, and he will ONLY play with me. No one else. SO when i arrive we have to concentrate on making sure he is happily entertained with feathered things and fluffy mice. Because he doesn’t play for years at a time because im away. He is an enormous Norwegian Forest cat.


The best Christmas. Only Basil and Farfar were missing.

This is where Jack, Franck and i stayed in Kolding before returning back to Fyn. Nice little apartment type hostel thing hotel whatever.


Another beautiful morning.


And another morning that i had to get up and photograph.


I saw it shining through the window, the entire room was almost hot pink thats how bright it was and it was still 4.30am.


Charlie getting highs from the Christmas tree.


Decorating time! Mum let me pick a few things to take home with me for my own Christmas tree. So i can have a bit of home when i’m in America. Christmas and Birthdays can be hard for me, from time to time, because i’m used to a big loud annoying family. Luckily i have Jack who makes plans and keeps me going. We always have sweet little Christmasses (?) by ourselves. Cooking enough food just for two, Basil would get a special Christmas dinner and wear a wooly sweater, thats all we ever needed. The three musketeers.


We all decorated the Christmas tree together — aside from Steph. She was working. Boooo.


Kasper and Franck.


Cat + Box = Daisy in Box.


Buck toothed Gritty and her brother of many colours.





Charlie sneaking into the presents because no one in our family can stay away from presents.















The red house is  Santas house — the one i previously mentioned.




















Denmark for me is a tough subject. And the holiday was nothing too extraordinary, and we didn’t want it to be. We saw the places, spent time with my family and i knitted a lot of socks for my mum. Like a lot. But other than that there was really nothing to report. And thats why theres more pictures than writing. Going home after having been… home…. why it sucks. Believe it. It confuses me and hurts me. Every time i leave Denmark its feels like i’m leaving my inner innocent child behind, and i get so little time with her enough as it is. Coming back to America is coming back to real life.
After coming home this time i was CERTAIN i wanted to move back. Having been back in America for a few months — i’m sure to hell that i don’t. And thats the constant battle haha. Anyway, i hope you enjoyed the pictures. I realise the writing is sparse but sometimes pictures are enough.
Stay safe and healthy out there.

glad i got you, ms. blue

The last few nights I’ve started really playing my guitar and my bass, how good it is for the soul to remember what you loved when you were innocent, when life hadn’t brought you down yet. I’m getting back into the musical swing and working on slap bass and slide guitar; two of my favorite techniques though I’m pretty poor at executing them myself. But who can be manically depressed with a speed pumping, heavy pick plucking bass jazzing out the bluegrass blues like some fella from a boozy band? No one. That’s who – not even me. Not even fucking me. I love playing piano and I love a good go on the guitar, but for me – the bass guitar has a place in my arms like nothing else. But, I think most musicians you talk to have a favorite. I’ll never be a master bass player, I’ll never rock it like hoppin’ flea or some backyard player with experience of hardship that can make a bass cry and bleed. I realize that, but that’s why I only play for me. Only me. Something I didn’t do when I was young.

So i’m glad i got you — Ms. Blue.
PS. I’d forgotten how dumb my bass-face is. My head bobbing about and my tongue trying to peek through my teeth in concentration.When my dad plays his head move like a weeble-wobble — so i suppose thats where i get it. How does one get a guitar expression like Johnny Depp when they play a good riff? Hahaha, i’ll never know. Who else is guilty of having a dumb expression when loving on their instrument?

a new year

I missed a’couple days on the blog. We spent a lot of time with my brother and everyday ended with all of us on the sofa watching crime programs, insisting we could’ve solved the murders in half the time and judging the suspects. Eating christmas sweets and delicious meals.
When the end of my time in Denmark rolls around i start to slow down, unsure i want to go home and whether the long travels back and forth are worth the heartache when i have to say goodbye. Its the time i feel the most uncertainty about living in America. But i fear that Denmark in the long wrong would plain bore me to death, but on the other hand — seeing family whenever i felt like it .. that’d be something i’ve never had before. Being in a place where nothing happens and nothing is trying to kill me… And eating the only food that i love. Excluding Whataburger and Mexican food… because both are life.

living room with christmas tree
lovely living room
cup of tea
danish tea in the morning, thats how a morning should begin

In the last few days we visited my sisters house and took a walk in the woods together. After plodding around the back woods we went back to her place and watched a horror film before going home to New Years Eve dinner at my parents house. I don’t really enjoy going much around the holiday season. I’d rather chill, have good food and then end the night with a movie. Im a slow going soul.

full selfie
movie time

I missed half the film we were watching because outside the window was a heavy pink beam slipping through the window panes. I looked at Jack and he smiled.
“I know. Go on.” He said as i grabbed my bag and ran into the late afternoon.
It was such a beautiful sundown, she slid behind the trees and kissed the little lake at the bottom of my sisters garden through gnarled branches. So ofcourse, i missed the climax of the film as well as the end. I took pictures and filmed with whatever battery life i had left — which wasn’t much. When i was done i just sat for a while. Just Denmark and Me. Nothing had to be said or cried about. No worries at all in my pocket. I just wanted to be alone with the sun rolling away.

selfie
that wind swept look

New years day was a really lovely day. Relaxed and quiet.  My brother bought a huge box of fireworks and for the first time i fired some as well. Fireworks kinda freak me out with the loud noises and disturbing the peace, but i really enjoyed having my brother encourage me and stand with me as i lit the fuse. Little moments slowly restore a lost faith in humanity. Jack ran around in boots and a cowboy hat Yeehawing as he lit rocket after rocket, he wore clothes too… just FYI.

new year eve table
family dinner on new years eve

I wont lie and say that i’m happy to be home. I’m not. I’m happy to be around my own things, and excited to get classes started and over with. Obviously im desperately dreading going back to work everyday, as everyone does, but partly for me its because i know if i worked a little harder and focused a little more; i could be making some money selling books on whores and poetry.
However, ultimately, i miss Denmark like hell. I always do but this time was the hardest it’s ever been to get up and leave, to say goodbye. I watched our journey in flight and as the plane icon ebbed away from Billund i felt like my heart was going to hollow in my foot forever. Waving goodbye to my parents at the airport was awful. I smiled and waved but behind the scenes, when we were all out of sight, was Jack picking me up and wiping a flood of tears away. Because leaving my mother — is the worst.

Today we’ve been catching up on post and getting shopping because all we had in the fridge was a lonely beer. On the way to walmart the familiar country tunes sang at their lungs with new meaning. So this song, that to me today now has a face, i dedicate to my Mor.

I wish you a grand new year, and i hope you make good like changes instead of bad resolutions you can’t keep.

som et forbrændt gud ude i baghaven

Det er allerede søndag aften og jeg er slet ikke klar til at gå på arbejde imorgen tidligt. Jeg har lyst til at blive hjemme og lave alt andet. Næste uge (uge 48) er det Thanksgiving — det vil sige at vi får 4 fri dage og det bliver super, men ellers er Thanksgiving ikke rigtig noget jeg går op i. Weekenden har været stille og roligt. Vi tog en tur til Wally world (Walmart) for at købe en ny ApplyTV. Det viste sig at vi kan se DR på den og der er desuden også dansk radio. Det hjælper lidt på hjemveen. Nu kan jeg lade som om Danmark er lige uden for fordøren selvom det er circa 5000miles/8046km væk.

Her til aften sidder jeg og strikker julegaver til nogen native american børn i South Dakota imens vi ser Miami vice. Olielamperene er tændt.  Jeg er også midt i et projekt som er  jule-gave til migselv fordi det er alt for sjælen at jeg laver noget til mig. Jeg har kun en sweater og nogen handsker. Resten bliver givet væk eller solgt.

Desværre er det ikke tit jeg skriver dansk på bloggen. Hvis jeg skal være ærligt er det fordi jeg føler mig  intimideret. Det er svært for mig at erkende at jeg ikke er god til mit eget sprog… især når jeg er så god til Engelsk. Det har altid irriteret mig men det er åbenbart sådan det skal være. I må tilgive mig mine fejl.

a quiet thought of homesickness

søndags vasketøj
mit lille arbejdshjørne hvor jeg skriver, redigere mine film og billeder.
min fredspibe og medicine pouch fra New England.
vinter er på vej
det smukke træ der står som et forbrændt gud ude i baghaven
et naturlig portræt

 

whats coming to etsy…

I know i’ve been talking about getting things on etsy and nothing has come of it, but i’ve just been so incredibly busy. Having said that i can finally show most of what is going up on Etsy when i find the time to load it. I’m also currently working on the Troldmand sweater but theres still a sleeve and the rest of the body to go. Anyway, you can check out my mini autumn collection below.
Let me know what you think!

Shetland Sweater , Sommer Hus Sweater, Jordgrub sweater, Calamity Jane Blanket scarf and Astrids Collar.