awake

I’ve been awake since 3.46am this morning and i’m stuck watching middle-aged housewives bitch eachother out on tv. Clearly being rich kept women isnt all its cracked up to be. Around 10am my brother, Jack and i are going to have breakfast at mormor and morfars house which is always a good way to start the day.

Awake

I’ve been having trouble sleeping, something very familiar to me for many reasons, but instead staring aimlessly at the ceiling counting political sheep i venture outside to watch Denmark wake up. Yesterday morning was Christmas morning and i watched the sunrise by myself whilst my camera filmed a timelapse. I scurried around the grounds filming birds flying over the fields and resting in the pine tops. I keep hoping ill see the deer my mother keeps talking about but no luck as of yet.

Last night we celebrated Christmas with my farmor, she makes the best risalamande any side of any place. It was nice to be just 5 of us. Franck, Steph, Jack, Farmor and myself. Laid back, easy and hyggeligt. You don’t need more than that.

It was a lovely Jul with a lot of laughter, story telling and word repetition cause im deaf as a bloodhound with a deficet.

I was falling asleep in the chair by the end of the night, as i am always prone to do, like some father with too happy family. So when we came back to the hotel room we’re sharing i passed out… got 5 hours sleep and here i am. Counting the damn minutes to the menfolk wakes up from their infernal snores.

Im not sure what our day will bring today, but i hope its a simple one. We all talked about visiting town even though everything is closed, but mostly to see familiar places and enjoy the calmness of the morning after Christmas.
Im really glad i set up to blog from my phone — it makes it a lot more convienient when im on the road.. which i am a lot. I found an app to resize my pictures too. Dont get me wrong i prefer posting DSLR pics but its nice to go back to plain basics now and again.

Glædelig jul og godt nytår!

And a happy christmas to those of you who are celebrating today.

my sad old thoughts

Hello!
Its one of those nights where i find myself reminiscing and looking back at where i’ve been. If i were given the chance i would still be an avid sailor, but sadly thats not how my life is panning out — at least right now. And it sure as hell wont if i live in the panhandle of Texas one day. But i made it happen at one point in my life because it was something i desperately wanted for myself — i needed it. I got my certificates and i can read a chart like a boss. Through sailing i found freedom and a best friend. So, even though it maybe now be years ago… i never shall forget, how precious those moments will forever be to me. When Pat is long gone — how precious he is and will always be to me.
Realistically, i don’t know when i will ever get back to England. The prices go up and up for plane tickets.
And i’ll be honest. My heart aches at the thought that i may never see my old shipmate again. It would be a blow that will wound me for the rest of my life, but i also know it’s very likely. If it happens, which given the distance and how years roll on without us, it probably will. Just as my family will slowly disappear from my mind as quickly as they will from my life.
There is a truth they never tell you about moving away from home to an entirely different world. 4000miles may as well be a million miles. A skype call can’t fix loneliness — it can only cover the wound for a few minutes.

I just put a favourite old clip to a song we really loved to sing to. It was a beautiful sun down and we were in the middle of the islands in the Bristol Channel. Over the waters where we raced, danced to sea shanties and laughed. Just me, Pat and the boat that sailed us anywhere. There have been many nights, many trips but i’ll always wish for at least one more. Many stories about pirates and treasure, Nelson and the Victory. So many stories since that go somewhat unshared.
I like to make little clips of my life to remind myself that i HAVE lived. I HAVE been there and i HAVE done that. And its ok to be where i am now, even if its hard to see whats in store for me. I know a lot of us probably worry about where we should be and what needs to be done by certain ages. I battle with it often, and its hard having moved from country to country and feeling REALLY “behind.” Where we are now, is where we need to be. No matter how challenging or painful. How beautiful and magic. The important thing is we are living and we can change anything and everything — we just have to dream it, and make it happen.

After all, as Walt Disney said, “if you can dream it, you can do it.”
And we can most definitely do it. Can’t we?

 

slow thursdays

Hello everyone!
Its been a slow Thursday but somehow i’ve managed to be really productive. I went to the gym almost as soon as i woke up something that usually takes me a few hours to get up and do. I also managed to get the maintenance men to come and check out our washing machine which has turned into the spawn of satan. Other than that i’ve I’ve been knitting and making danish pancakes. Because i’ve had a hankering for them for weeks now. They’re so easy to make and they’re so tasty. Sadly i ruined the first 6 because the pan was being annoying, however — the end result with vanilla ice cream was on pointe. Craving well and truly fed.

I got a package from denmark full of danish sweets and yarn!!! <3 This made me so stupidly happy.
im really excited about this pattern — this jumper might end up on my etsy, but it depends on how much i fall in love with it. Haha!
moss socks in alpaca wool.
im using some vanilla sugar i made during christmas time from the vanilla beans i needed for risalamande. I now how an unhealthy relationship with vanilla sugar.