bella, Author at bella elkjær

something you’d rather be doing

Posted on April 8, 2019 by bella

I’ll be working 5 days a week from now on, as my job offered me a second position in the same office. I don’t mind it much, i’m grateful — sure, but there’s always something you’d rather be doing. Truthfully i’m not much built for office work and having a boss, but alas — one must hustle to get the golden egg. I just know i need to sleep. Where its good and safe. Away from the screaming. The holy terrors and bad ideas. Christ i wish i could sleep.

Recently i disappeared. I turned off all my social media. It was starting to stress the hell outta me, and when it starts doing that it sure as shit isn’t worth it anymore. I’m not the kind of person who wants to chase social media like a butterfly chases the last of the dying flowers in the autumn. No sir, i sure ain’t ! I don’t care. I simply just don’t care enough to show my whole life on the internet and i shan’t apologise for that. It’s not what i’m about. So i turned off instagram which in turn lost me followers — so what? Instagram reminds me a lot of past clingy relationships, so in much the same case; good riddance ! I turned off facebook apart from the few conversations i keep with my family in Denmark so they know i’m not dead. I haven’t made another vlog either, as i’m sure a few of you have noticed, and i’ve been meaning to. I have it planned out though, but finding the time is the kicker with how much of it i don’t have. The thing is that i can’t predict when i’m going to get inspired. I don’t know when i’ll get a wild hair up my arse and want to create or write.
Unfortunately i didn’t get round to working on my western either, its crazy how time slips away when you’re living in the wrong place or living for one goal and then in turn end up missing another. Well, i guess i also LET it slip away a little. The snow is long gone now though and i haven’t even scratched the surface really. So for now we write, we plan and we choreograph. And if it ends up being filmed in the desert? I’ll be pleased as punch. Boy, what a dream. To sit in a run down telegraph house writing about the Outlaw and the Ranger, as the Texas desert burns like a son of bitch outside, where the town isn’t big enough for me and Josie-Moe to be on the same street without getting into some kind of fight about stockings or the newest hairstyles, that i secretly don’t care about but i love the argument just the same.

grass moon

Posted on March 19, 2019 by bella

Spring is almost here and i am so excited for warmer suns, greener forests and new bird songs.
Annnnd I think i need to face the fact that i’m a night owl and just prefer to post and work at night, i’m so productive during the evenings — even after a whole day at work. I’ve tried to post during the days but theres no point changing the way my body works.
But what are you most excited about for spring? And where are you in the world?↟Don’t forget — if you like my video you can subscribe to my youtube channel!

native hope & every drop of beauty

Posted on March 17, 2019March 17, 2019 by bella

As some of you have seen on my facebook i’ve started a fundraiser!
I’ve been meaning to start it for a few months but i felt the time wasn’t right. I was quite worried, i guess. My mind wasn’t in a good place. In life you need to wait for your bones to feel comfortable in your body and for your gut to settle before taking a big step. I waited and i’m happy i did, because all of a sudden it was time! Time to pick my limp body up from the hole i’d died in years ago. Time to be better. Time to be happier. Time to live as i’ve never lived. Time to try to be happy. I’m ready to be the person i know i’ve hidden away all this time.
I’ve recently started a journey. And it’s a journey of healing my broken bones. I’m an old soul of out my time and the modern world causes me to struggle now and again. My inner spirit becomes so overwhelmed and i’m learning to free it, to let it spread its wings and holler as loud as it wants. And it’s not as easy as it sounds. Changing your mind and the way you’ve thought for 26 years is pretty damn hard, but my time came to change and it hit me like a frying pan to the face.
This fundraiser is a part of my change. Instead of dreaming of doing something in the future when things might be different, i’m doing them now and slowly stitching myself together. One small step at a time. And within the first day or so i’m already close to half way to my goal!

This organisation has been a large part of the reason behind my last couple of posts on instagram and the change in my thinking. They have been inspiring me every morning to take a moment and think. I can wake up in a foul mood before the sun has risen, but they remind me to stop. Breathe. And reflect. So I count my blessings. I try to understand rather than react and my soul is happier for it. Thats not to say i don’t still struggle and sometimes want to jump off a cliff, but now its not the only answer. The answer is inside, beneath my ribs… pumping blood through my body. I have to listen to the black bird fluttering in my gut and i have to listen to my heart. I can’t bare the weight of the world on my shoulders any longer. Some things have to be let go. I’m not a saviour and neither are you — but we can help. We can educate ourselves. I’m trying to raise awareness for a strong beautiful message, the healing journeys of many and just an incredible charity that are making changes.

Instead of buying that cheap cup of coffee or stale two day old cake, you could donate that small amount to a charity that you can see is making big changes.please note this not an advertising this is simply a cause/non-profit organisation that is close to my heart, and i wanted to share it with you.

another day

Posted on March 15, 2019 by bella

Low 60’s and a warm breeze. Hello spring !

new horizons

Posted on March 11, 2019 by bella

Has it really been five days since i wrote my last post?
Sheesh — well as you might know from my Insta-stories i’ve been really sick, and Jack too. Thankfully we’re almost back to normal and i’ve managed to catch up on my knitting. Finally the first sweater is finished and ready to be posted on etsy once i get some pictures of it. I love making things and being creative but realistically i can’t wear everything i make because that would be insane. I don’t like having a lot of belongings and clothes. I’m always trying to donate what i don’t use or need. Anyway i figured posting some things to sell on Etsy and getting a bit of extra money here and there would be a fun venture. I tried using the platform before, as some of you may recall, and sold a few items but i’ll try my luck again now that i have a bit more of an idea what i’m doing and i have more confidence in what i’m making. I’ll only be making Sweaters, socks + the occasional scarf when i fancy. I think it’ll be interesting to see how it turns out.
Anyway, i just wanted to update you all and let you know i’m still keeping on. I’m planning on making a youtube video pretty soon — not sure if its a vlog or what, but i have it in my brain i just need that last little push.

Happy Monday !