Last Saturday Jack took me for homemade ice-cream … the only ice cream that has ever beaten me in all my life, which warrants it to have its very own blogpost. I’ve stopped eating sugar almost entirely, so i only have maybe half a pack of peanut butter M&Ms and a iced tea+lemonade on the weekend. Everything else is pretty much protein, broccoli, eggs, oatmeal and bacon. So this ice cream kicked my butt, but what a beautiful battle it was. A homemade waffle cone the size of my head, around five enormous scoops of farm churned chocolate chip ice cream.
I regret nothing. Find a guy that buys you farm ice cream for breakfast and takes you to pet all the baby sheep and goats before the crowds show up.
My god damn kitchen flooded on Monday night. The garbage disposal over flowed and all the folks waste water from above us came through our sink, floor boards sodden in chicken water and grease. Thats how my week started. I suppose that’s life and you just have to keep on keeping on as best you can. But thats neither here or nor there and frankly nothing to do with my blogpost, but i needed to fill it out a wee bit.
Yesterday morning after breakfast we took a trip to Applecrest farm — the place we went apply picking at a few years ago…. for $30 dollars a bag i might add. Last time we went it was incredibly busy and not worth the hum because everything is terrible when theres too many people aimlessly walking and stopping abruptly for no reason other than to annoy the shit outta me. It was much nicer when it was quiet — like it was yesterday. Plus for the most part i got the long eared goats and sheep to myself. I’ve always wanted to have my own sheep so i could spin my own yarn and make REALLY beautiful happy sweaters from happy sheep. Maybe one day.
Another dream to add to the pile.
I dont know why this blog post comes across as hostile … it really was a lovely day and i had a huge waffle cone ice cream.. so, overall a success.
The ice cream did win though, that thing was the size of an elephant penis.
It was just another slow Sunday today but laced in a cool breeze, giving us a much needed break from the humidity. Thank goodness. I don’t have a lot i want to write about, but i felt like writing a short post about a regular day for me — because i don’t usually do that. So — here’s to trying something new ! Currently i’m doing a knitting trade with a good friend of mine. I’m knitting her a sweater with cotton yarn and in exchange i get one or two of her beautiful scarves. I’ve never done anything like this before so i’m pretty excited about the process. (I also get to write a letter and send it snail mail style — which is something i really love to do) Old style mail is like poetry these days. I don’t often use patterns, if at all. I make it all up as i go and see how it turns out. I never make the same thing twice — even if i’m trying to knit a pair of socks, fucking bastard socks. I get heated just thinking about having to knit two of something it SUCKS.
My day pretty much consisted of your regular dreading of Monday morning, eating bacon, jerky and hyping myself up for a new big challenge. As most of you can probably tell i suffer from a pretty crippling mindset of self hatred and body dysmorphia — lace all that bullhickey in with deadening depression and you have the wonderfully witty genius you see before you. The funniest kid any side of the Mississipi. Artists and comedians suffer greatly for their craft; and fuck i’ve suffered like a son of a bitch. That’s right folks, not even i am at all perfect as social media might portray. I am in fact flawed like an old piss sodden boot with a hole in the toe, and i wouldn’t change much about it. Perfection is terribly over rated.
Anyway, my point is that i’m working on changing my cognitive thinking. Don’t get me wrong, i love a bit of depression here and there because its how i write the way i do.
I can write some beautifully haunting scenarios like no other, terrible stories and cruel characters, that though they may not be entirely good — they’ll be remembered; but its time for me to change a little too. I’m smart enough to realise that. Because if you’re not working on yourself, where are you going and how can you grow? Also, i can’t expect my characters to change — if i don’t.
I’ve been working out on a consistent basis for over a year now and attempting (and failing), to change my eating habits. DING DING. But thats the next goal. To stop eating what i know fuels my depression like fuel on a fire pit. And its only a habit that needs breaking, because i don’t enjoy when i eat those foods — but i do it out of the comforting habit drowning in sugar like babies suckling tit milk.
Today isn’t really the first day of me working on this, by no means but today is yet another day where i’ll start the intermittent fasting and try a new method of thinking of food by not canceling out everything i love, but changing how much and when i have it. Good luck to me, after all… if you don’t like something change it.
Fear not! My blog is not becoming a fitness blog full of air filled muscles, booty photos and starved selfies. No ma’am. But fitness has become a bigger part of my life this year and i’m loving it because i can physically and mentally feel the changes. If i’m sad about something, i’ll take a run, a walk or get under the weights. Recently i’ve been pretty low because i’ve been homesick after watching particular television shows, another terrible trigger that can send me in to a cave macabre thoughts for weeks. Homesickness is a cruelty i would only wish on about 30 people that i believe deserve to feel something other than falsely placed superiority.
And thats all my Sunday consisted of. Settling things in my mind and figuring out the next step. Here’s to new horizons, opportunities and futures looming. Tell me about your Sunday and something you’d like to change.
Happy Sunday Night and have a grand following week.
Also — if you’re interested in the knitting my friend does here is a link to her facebook page here.
Hey folks and a happy Saturday! !
I’ve been consumed in my knitting over the last weeks. I only wanted to learn to knit so i could make sweaters and socks, that was the whole point and i felt like giving up so many times, but Jack told me to keep at it. So after years of knitting random pointless things, swearing and tearing my hair out — i’ve finally arrived at my goal. And thus its no surprise that i’ve been living with my needles full of new projects recently. This is the grønland sweater knitted with 100% roving yarn in ice and stone — my 3rd sweater this year! And i’m pretty excited because its my first real yoke sweater! It’s knitted from the bottom and upwards. I made up the pattern myself. What do you think?