a penny for your thoughts 1#

We all know how hard it can be in a world where everything seems to be a competition.
Who has the best this, who does that better or who is the funniest.
Allow me to blow your mind here — it doesn’t matter, though i am one of the funniest.
Let’s just have that settled.

Recently i’ve received a lot of messages telling me how brave i was to move, ” i could never do that.” False.
You could, but you probably don’t want to. Thats probably all it is. And thats ok.
It may sound melodramatic, but no place has ever been truly home to me. So i’ve always found it easy to move because i’ve moved to new countries all my life. I spent almost every day of my life wishing i was everywhere but where i was. And that is a huge fault because it means i forget to live in the now. Every one has a different path. Looking back for the last two years its hit me hard how many times i should have been happy with what i had now that i don’t have it anymore. Cliché. No. It’s the honest and harsh reality of living. It’s not an epic adventure filled with childhood dreams and giggles. It’s fucking hard. And devastating. I find myself looking at others and just wishing i could be half as positive — but realistically i know they aren’t necessarily that happy behind the scenes. So let me tell you, and i’m telling myself this too — stop dreaming you were as pretty as her, she ain’t all that. Stop wishing he’d notice you — because if he hasn’t now he obviously doesn’t see the greatness that is YOU.  Just as you are. Stop wishing you were a million miles away because someone else makes a different place looks like a dream. Don’t allow social media to make you think you need to change.
And to myself, most absolutely, stop dreaming that anywhere but here is where living starts.
Sweet girl, it started 26 years ago and it’s about time you figured it out.

a regular calamity jane #1

Theres not a night that passes where i don’t miss listening to the coyotes singing outside my window. One night i woke and there was a coyote right outside the window, it was so close i could smell it and he gave out a deep solemn howl. It scared the shit outta me at first, but it was so hauntingly beautiful that i shall never forget it and i will always hope to hear them in the night again. Now, it’s a remembrance of home.

we’re filming a western !

I know i haven’t really had the time recently to keep you updated on what i’ve been up to, but things have settled down. Thats a lie. I’ve had the time but i’ve had my mind on other things.

The last week, as many of you know, Jack and i took a walk out in the snow to shoot some pictures, and now we’re filming a western!! Only something short — around 10minutes or so. And it really did come about as easy as that. I’m so excited about it. I’ve always wanted to really try my hand at filming and now with my new equipment i’m loving the process. It’s as if it was something i was always supposed to be doing. Jack has been working on a script, i’ve been knitting period accurate wool garments for filming because its cold as arse outside, and i’ve been putting the teaser together. Thats why i’ve been absent for a little while that and i do have a job to work. I’m also using my old laptop and a program that needs an update that i can’t pay for right now. So it was pretty frustrating to get it to be perfect. There was a lot of swearing, smashing and hair pulling, but i got there and i think the “teaser” looks great!
For those of you who missed it you can watch here.
I’d love to hear your thoughts about it.
You can also subscribe to my youtube channel if you haven’t already — i’ve started posting there a lot more and if you don’t hear from me here theres a strong chance i’ve posted on my youtube instead or instagram. I’ve been working towards doing some vlogs but getting that first one done is pretty uncomfortable because i’m pretty self conscious about the fact that my voice is as deep as a barrel. Haha. Having said that — the first vlog is exporting RIGHT NOW.
Stay tuned.
Goodnight everyone!

a beautiful night sky

Hello everyone! Its 6.26pm Saturday night and its black as a cave drop outside already. Winter is definitely here.
It’s been a lazy day just puttering around the apartment sorting through clothes, books etc. I really want to downsize the things I have. One reason is to make moving so much simpler and two because I just hating having so much random “stuff.” Maybe its since I’ve moved across the world and I realize what material things matter and which don’t, on the other hand it might the hole Danish thing of hating clutter. Which I do. With a passion.
Anyway as I was tucking into some old pizza this afternoon I saw these orange sun lined clouds flying across the sky, and I ran out to the balcony to watch them go. The cold wind smacked me in the face like an angry ex-boyfriend.
I gave Jack my “I MUST PHOTOGRAPH THAT” look, pulled on my jeans, vintage sweater and some snow boots — Jack pulled on clothes and flip flops. Resulting in him almost losing all his toes, because its cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey.
And so we chased the sun down as we burned daylight.
He’s so lovely to let me follow my soul wherever it takes me, and knowing that he’ll always be right there next to me.
He’s made of diamonds that one.

Recently everything has been changing, but finally things seem to be finding their way. I work a job I enjoy with nice people, and it’ll do for now, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say I need more. I want to shoe horses. I want to be in the crows nest with the sails beneath me full as a fat baby at breakfast. I want to draw western scapes filled with bluebonnets and longhorns. I want to ride. To have a farm. I want to photograph all the hours of my day away. I want to act on the stages I built with my bare hands. I want to make people laugh and forget how terrible the world can seem.
I’m not made like everyone else. I’m made of earth, stones and sea water all held within a fox hide. I live in the land of dreams and I’ll chase them. So for now i’m glad things have settled, and that I have time to process things that need processing, but I can’t wait to get back to where I feel I need to be — Texas. The sooner the better. It’s the last place I felt truly inspired and apart of something. I can always grasp at nature, but when you live somewhere that doesn’t call to you — there’s only one thing to do and that’s get up and go to where they wind blows you.  So here’s hoping next year that we’re out of New England.
It’s time to start living. I wear my boots and my Stetson with pride. I need to feel that old dust under my feet as my heel growls on the gravel. I want to film the Texas sunrise and watch the deer running.


This evening was such a perfect moment. Watching the clouds roll by, the dark looming in and being with my best friend laughing; talking about nothing.
Just what I needed.
How did you spend your Saturday night?

Don’t forget to subscribe to my youtube channel ! ♡