a regular calamity jane #1

Theres not a night that passes where i don’t miss listening to the coyotes singing outside my window. One night i woke and there was a coyote right outside the window, it was so close i could smell it and he gave out a deep solemn howl. It scared the shit outta me at first, but it was so hauntingly beautiful that i shall never forget it and i will always hope to hear them in the night again. Now, it’s a remembrance of home.

we’re filming a western !

I know i haven’t really had the time recently to keep you updated on what i’ve been up to, but things have settled down. Thats a lie. I’ve had the time but i’ve had my mind on other things.

The last week, as many of you know, Jack and i took a walk out in the snow to shoot some pictures, and now we’re filming a western!! Only something short — around 10minutes or so. And it really did come about as easy as that. I’m so excited about it. I’ve always wanted to really try my hand at filming and now with my new equipment i’m loving the process. It’s as if it was something i was always supposed to be doing. Jack has been working on a script, i’ve been knitting period accurate wool garments for filming because its cold as arse outside, and i’ve been putting the teaser together. Thats why i’ve been absent for a little while that and i do have a job to work. I’m also using my old laptop and a program that needs an update that i can’t pay for right now. So it was pretty frustrating to get it to be perfect. There was a lot of swearing, smashing and hair pulling, but i got there and i think the “teaser” looks great!
For those of you who missed it you can watch here.
I’d love to hear your thoughts about it.
You can also subscribe to my youtube channel if you haven’t already — i’ve started posting there a lot more and if you don’t hear from me here theres a strong chance i’ve posted on my youtube instead or instagram. I’ve been working towards doing some vlogs but getting that first one done is pretty uncomfortable because i’m pretty self conscious about the fact that my voice is as deep as a barrel. Haha. Having said that — the first vlog is exporting RIGHT NOW.
Stay tuned.
Goodnight everyone!

a beautiful night sky

Hello everyone! Its 6.26pm Saturday night and its black as a cave drop outside already. Winter is definitely here.
It’s been a lazy day just puttering around the apartment sorting through clothes, books etc. I really want to downsize the things I have. One reason is to make moving so much simpler and two because I just hating having so much random “stuff.” Maybe its since I’ve moved across the world and I realize what material things matter and which don’t, on the other hand it might the hole Danish thing of hating clutter. Which I do. With a passion.
Anyway as I was tucking into some old pizza this afternoon I saw these orange sun lined clouds flying across the sky, and I ran out to the balcony to watch them go. The cold wind smacked me in the face like an angry ex-boyfriend.
I gave Jack my “I MUST PHOTOGRAPH THAT” look, pulled on my jeans, vintage sweater and some snow boots — Jack pulled on clothes and flip flops. Resulting in him almost losing all his toes, because its cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey.
And so we chased the sun down as we burned daylight.
He’s so lovely to let me follow my soul wherever it takes me, and knowing that he’ll always be right there next to me.
He’s made of diamonds that one.

Recently everything has been changing, but finally things seem to be finding their way. I work a job I enjoy with nice people, and it’ll do for now, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say I need more. I want to shoe horses. I want to be in the crows nest with the sails beneath me full as a fat baby at breakfast. I want to draw western scapes filled with bluebonnets and longhorns. I want to ride. To have a farm. I want to photograph all the hours of my day away. I want to act on the stages I built with my bare hands. I want to make people laugh and forget how terrible the world can seem.
I’m not made like everyone else. I’m made of earth, stones and sea water all held within a fox hide. I live in the land of dreams and I’ll chase them. So for now i’m glad things have settled, and that I have time to process things that need processing, but I can’t wait to get back to where I feel I need to be — Texas. The sooner the better. It’s the last place I felt truly inspired and apart of something. I can always grasp at nature, but when you live somewhere that doesn’t call to you — there’s only one thing to do and that’s get up and go to where they wind blows you.  So here’s hoping next year that we’re out of New England.
It’s time to start living. I wear my boots and my Stetson with pride. I need to feel that old dust under my feet as my heel growls on the gravel. I want to film the Texas sunrise and watch the deer running.


This evening was such a perfect moment. Watching the clouds roll by, the dark looming in and being with my best friend laughing; talking about nothing.
Just what I needed.
How did you spend your Saturday night?

Don’t forget to subscribe to my youtube channel ! ♡

i’m not dead — just dormant.

Finally — colder weather has bloomed in New England and i’m really excited for real sweater weather start. I like summer but it gets boring really quickly. Most of my clothes are for cold weather.
The stars are so much brighter when its cold, and i look forward to getting some really pretty astro-shots.
I know I’ve been really bad at blogging recently but so much has been going on and i have to have space for real life. Even when real life is a little crappy.
Isn’t it always the lay of the land — that as soon as one part of your life goes well another part turns to stone?

Thankfully though now everything is starting to settle down. I’ve started another new job — an office job that i actually enjoy. Considering i thought i’d feel like a caged animal in an office, i think its going well. Never say never.
I left the other new job after a week because it was the epitome of terrible. Working in the food industry usually is but i’ve never experienced insanity on this scale.
Lets just say i had a plate thrown at my head, i lost 5lbs in a week and i was given no training and basically working as a chef. I applied to be dishwasher because i just wanted some extra cash in my pocket. If i wanted to work in an insane asylum i would’ve booked myself into one. I’ve never worked a job that was so awful i had to leave after a week, its a little embarassing if it wasn’t so bat shit insane. However for my mind and my pride, i had to quit. Nothing is worth mental torture. No amount of money is worth my soul.

But as i said, its settling down. I’ve got a great new job, the one i was hoping to get out of the three i applied/interviewed for. I actually got all three jobs but obviously chose the one i wanted most and thank goodness it came along or who knows what would have happened.
Other than that i’m getting a lot of use out of my new camera — i’m hoping to get some time this week to post some of the photos i’ve taken but we will see and i’ve almost completed my first long “short story”/novel.

So things are moving forward.
At long last.