Its been a long yet productive weekend. Tomorrow is my last work day before i have some time off, and i can’t wait to sleep later than 6.30am. I’ve been dreaming about all the things i want to do and all the places i want to be, but unfortunately i can only be in one place at a time — and where i am right now isn’t on my list of places. I’m grateful for the experience i’ve gained here but sometimes i feel like a caged bird that gets fed old crackers to pipe back a name or flip on my perch.
I want to be out there somewhere getting lost and getting dirt under my finger nails. Somewhere that’ll be truly home. Once i’ve finished getting some farrier experience under my belt i think i’ll be more than ready to get on the road and try to find where my forever will be.
So for now i’ll dream into my tea cup and try to survive the ghastly humidity that we’re having up here in the North East.
Have a lovely on-coming week!
Theres nothing particular to write about today. I could write a post about something pointless or complain about something thats been irritating me, but instead i’m reading, taking notes and over thinking things. Nothing is happening today. I’m not working out or going to work. Today i’ll sit at my kitchen table and study hooves, then i’ll probably read something or watch my beloved ghosty programs on television with Basil.
My body is physically exhausted right now and i can barely venture further than the living room. I’m proud i didn’t stay in bed all day even if i feel i need to — one adult point for me! Currently on my brain is how i’ll incorporate more “expat” posts into this blog and more lifestyle related things, but being a very private person it starts getting a bit tough, like getting blood from a mountain. So far i feel its mostly just the ramblings of a crazy person but i’m still finding my “niche” … i’m still trying to find what it is that i can contribute.
And so, i must leave you to my books. Happy Monday and have a great week.
I finally succeeded in knitting a jumper successfully !
Actually semi-successfully. Its wearable, warm and comfy, not to mention the absolute best colour yarn can be. However it does look like its been dragged through hell and back — but at least it has as much character as i do.
Where a cowboy is king and its kinda ok to be stubborn as a mule.
I fit in alright.
Never was i the kind of girl who thought Texans rode to school on the back of a mustang, but i’d be deceiving you if i said i hadn’t hoped that there would some swinging saloon doors in my life.
I’m yet to find those doors swinging, but i found something else.
A place that is better than it ever could be in a book or on the tongue of a storyteller.
There are a lot of misconceptions about the South these days, but i find that you haven’t lived till you’ve made like Davy Crockett and gone to Texas.
Theres never been a home for me that made me realise “this is it. This is where i will die one day.”
When the sun peeks from behind the desert and winks at the piney woods in South East Texas, why theres nothing quite like it. Its burns like hell but you’ll never feel the sun on your face the you feel it there.
When i was younger a lot of the people around me were desperate to run off to America to be the next big film star, or some kind of uppity up in New York. I’d never heard anything so dull. What a typical dream – its been dreamt for hundreds of years, where is their imagination? If you have the power to dream beyond your means why dream of something magic. Having said that a dream is a dream to he who bares it. Then again, if i had had a dream it would be for something far greater far more than monetary success. I’d dream of the land — so deep the moon could swim in it and horses could run boundless for years. I’d dream of a place where the sunset was always singing through the window. There is so much more to life than what instagram or twitter, even facebook tells you.
You don’t need to lose those 10 pounds to be beautiful. If you aren’t beautiful now you wont be then. It isn’t the pound its the mind.
You don’t need those long shifts to get to where you’re going.
You don’t need to suffer to live.
You just need to live.
One deep breath at time.
So when i dreamed i dreamed beyond the stage of the weeping clown that i am.
I dreamed beyond that horizon that swung behind heavy waves as our sails flurried, where two pirates sat eating biscuits under the stars.
I dreamed i would never lose myself to society.
Something i do every day is remind myself what i am and who i feel i’m mean’t to be.
I will feel every footstep under me even when it sucks ass to be alive.
All this brings me to telling you — i never even wanted to visit America. It didn’t interest me whatsoever. I’d closed that off because it was something everyone wanted, and all i wanted was to be left to be exactly as i always had been.
Would that bring me money?
I’d find a way and strangely enough…
And it meant moving to the United States to become a shit kicker.
Something i’d been sure wasn’t for me (the usa … not the shit kicking, who doesn’t love kicking shit?) — was exactly where i was supposed to go.
To experience life on a scale that stretches from here to Uranus.
Be careful what doors you try to close.
We’ll be travelling back to some old haunts in Texas this week, and i can’t wait.
To look at it all again with a fresh mind and a new perspective. Have margaritas with friends, family days on crystal beach and so forth.Hopefully i’ll also get some kind of a kick in the ass to get inspired and work harder on my novels.
But who knows what the future will bring. As long as it eventually brings me back to a place that belongs in my heart — i wont ask for more than that.
I can’t wait to be around familiar places and people.
Call me crazy — but i can’t wait for the heat either.
Yes i will complain about it when i’m there but i love to complain.
Galveston is one of my favourite places in the world.
The colours of the sea side town we know and love.
See you in Texas!