a penny for your thoughts 1#

We all know how hard it can be in a world where everything seems to be a competition.
Who has the best this, who does that better or who is the funniest.
Allow me to blow your mind here — it doesn’t matter, though i am one of the funniest.
Let’s just have that settled.

Recently i’ve received a lot of messages telling me how brave i was to move, ” i could never do that.” False.
You could, but you probably don’t want to. Thats probably all it is. And thats ok.
It may sound melodramatic, but no place has ever been truly home to me. So i’ve always found it easy to move because i’ve moved to new countries all my life. I spent almost every day of my life wishing i was everywhere but where i was. And that is a huge fault because it means i forget to live in the now. Every one has a different path. Looking back for the last two years its hit me hard how many times i should have been happy with what i had now that i don’t have it anymore. Cliché. No. It’s the honest and harsh reality of living. It’s not an epic adventure filled with childhood dreams and giggles. It’s fucking hard. And devastating. I find myself looking at others and just wishing i could be half as positive — but realistically i know they aren’t necessarily that happy behind the scenes. So let me tell you, and i’m telling myself this too — stop dreaming you were as pretty as her, she ain’t all that. Stop wishing he’d notice you — because if he hasn’t now he obviously doesn’t see the greatness that is YOU.  Just as you are. Stop wishing you were a million miles away because someone else makes a different place looks like a dream. Don’t allow social media to make you think you need to change.
And to myself, most absolutely, stop dreaming that anywhere but here is where living starts.
Sweet girl, it started 26 years ago and it’s about time you figured it out.

novels, 100 subscribers & future plans

Well it’s that time of year again where people become greedy and start really getting in my way in the grocery shop, vexing me to no bloody end. Why must you stop right at the f**king exit? I will go through you and you will roll like a bowling pin.
Happy Fecking Christmas everybody.


Christmas is probably my favourite time of the year, because i get to whack out all my danish Christmas decorations and i can pretend i’m home in Denmark; that my family are just down the road.
So far i feel so very productive. I reached my g0al of 100 subscribers on youtube, which i set for myself last month. It was something that i wanted to accomplish before the end of 2018.  I’m so glad that you all enjoyed my first vlog, it was a lot of fun to try and i’m planning my next one. I was going to film it last Friday but ended up working that day. So next week hopefully!
And those of you who follow me on instagram know that i just finished writing a short novel i’ve been working on for about a 1.5 years. It’s such a bizarre feeling that i’m finished telling that story, it sucks that its a little too short to be a stand alone novel but i’ve decided to write a collection of short stories instead. And that’s really exciting! ( i was always told by teachers not to start sentences with “and” but fuck it, i like to live dangerously.)
The fact that i’m done with a story means i desperately want to publish it right this minute, however, i don’t want to rush this kind of project. Bearing my heart in those pages means i have to do it right, even if that means waiting till other stories are finished being told.

Sadly all the snow has decided to melt even though its cold as balls outside, boo! So filming has been put off for The Outlaw and the Ranger till the snow returns — which it will, i will finish this project before we leave, by god! Until then we’re fixing the behind the scene works and the tech, thats just as important as the acting itself. Equipment is being sorted, music written, wardrobe situated and script writing.  I’d be lying if i said this wasn’t part of the dream. It is. Jack and i are actors, this is what we do best. I’ve tried acting in the USA in random places and so far  — well thats a whole other blog post that i’ll write one day.
Anyway, this is what we do.
I can’t wait till we can get more actors on board for future work when we have our own land in Texas, but for right now its just us and the music man. This will help us figure out the kinks and get the basics down on what we want to do and become. We’ve even started discussing names for the eventual company we’d like to start, its all in the works. It’ll be hard and we’ll get knocked back, but it’s all learning and living.
I will say its quite hard to balance everything, but i’m enjoying the process of finding out.


“Little by little, the look of the land changes by the men we admire.”
― Larry McMurtry.🌿

semi-tender age of 26


I’m still desperately in love, and I’ve been lucky to be so utterly and truly happy. So much so that I’ve developed a smile line at the semi-tender age of 26. Probably also the only line in my face to date and one I wear so damn proudly (apart from the perplexed hook I also sport above my left eye from being so truly flabbergasted at the youth of today, as well as the many impressions and funny faces I’ve pulled). However, In that smile line are the moments the three of us have laughed, travelled and completely lived. Happy memories. Many sunbeams. 5 Star jokes from me and the dad jokes from Jack, Basil pretending he’s not paying attention. Yes, though I am so deeply lost these days. Having lost my beautiful Basil and a sweet souled relative of mine whom I loved dearly in the same month, after not having been able to cope with the loss of my Grand father from last year — today I can say that though I may not be entirely happy or without ill feeling, I can say that I can see the possibility of living on from now. And that’s all I have. Though I am so tired from lack of sleeping, sore from weeping and have lost about 15lbs. Its been a heavy couple of blog posts recently and i’m not sorry for that. Life is not sunshine and rainbows, and we don’t pussyfoot here on my blog. We say it as it is because other wise it’s not worth saying at all.

I only smile like this at the thought of pizza, which I’m going to persuade Jack to buy tonight. Pizza with bacon. Also posting this so my mum knows I’m not hanging from a rafter somewhere. 

the monster in the dark

Its been a busy week — and next week will be even busier.
I got a new job, which will help fund living and travelling back/forth to Denmark.
So its an exciting opportunity.
Though it may not be what i want to be doing, it’ll line my pockets while i try to get to where i’m going.
What a dragging summer its been though. Do you feel the same?
Its been productive and busy, but we’ve done almost nothing but work! Thats so sad. I remember when summers were for climbing trees, visiting family, performing in plays and eating lots of sweets.
Now its about making ends meet and getting the work done so you can eat.
Ultimately It feels as if summer has gone on for too long this year.
BUT!
Finally the evenings are getting darker faster and there’s the old Autumn chill in the air. I miss wearing sweaters, knitted socks and long johns. Whilst the snow is an inconvenience — i miss that too. Its amazing to write while the snow is falling outside.
And i’m definitely dreaming of Autumn and Winter.
I’m also dreaming of Christmas in Denmark this year, but only time will tell.
Happy Sunday and have a great week next week everyone! 🙂