Blow me a raspberry
This week ive been trying to ‘cleanse’ my body of bad foods. Ive havent gone all in because frankly im a terribly fussy eater but ive been attempting to incorporate new foods into my everyday. So ive found out i love pomme seeds and raspberries! Living on mostly fruits, rye crackers and magaritas this week and i feel pretty darn good! That might be the magarita talkin’ though….
“The hardest thing on earth is choosing what matters”
The most beautiful truth — choosing what matters. We all had dreams when we were young, and even still nothing has or may ever become of them. I wanted to be a runner and i’m not talking for want of a gold medal or world renown fame in the olympics. No. I’m talking Forest Gump running. My little heart wanted to race as far as my even smaller legs could take me. It didn’t matter where or how: Its just what i wanted. To this day i’m a great runner but due to snapping ankles that dream can never truly “be.” You know what? Thats just fine. That doesn’t mean the dream is gone but Its life. Now I have created a life that has taken me to places i thought i’d never reach, never could dream of or ever dared to think i’d go to. I don’t aspire for a certain career or job. I try to spend every day doing something i enjoy. I work jobs that i dreamed of having as a child. Sometimes i pick up horse shit — its worth every minute as i get lots of cuddles, become more understanding and have horse snot all over me on a constant basis ( what a bonus!) Other days i write and write and write and write etc.. Sometimes i act, other times i’m a photographer. I’m very lucky and everyday i realise that a little more. I’m thankful for what i have and what i do.
This last year or so i’ve really starting pursuing things i want to do in life. A dream is to have a ranch of my own with a couple of horses, maybe sheep or goats and some form of feathery egg laying bird (no rooster because they don’t usually like me). If i’m feeling really crazy, i am, i’d love to have a big old honorary long horn. I’d love to have acres of land that i can ride out on, camp and live free. I’ve been working on farms as much as i can, getting to be around horses again and working on the ground work/care/riding . Meeting some lovely people with the same interest who i can learn from + who are willing to show me the ropes. I used to be around horses a lot when i was younger but then i got busy with school, theatre, writing and then travelling — so i had to build that part of my life again. Its hard because i have to start over, but i’m glad im clever enough to want to learn it again.
Ultimately I choose life; and living it to the absolute full. I may never be the rider i want to be but i’ll happily spend my days trying to get there, putting in the hours, the money when i have it; at the end i can smile and say i gave it my damnedest. Finding the small things to be happy about in life is easy when you life for yourself. When you try to focus one what truly brings light into your life–thats when you’re rich. I don’t live to work. I don’t live for social media. This blog is about as active as i get when it comes to computers. If you’ve seen my facebook/instagram you’ll see that its shocking how bad i am at keeping up with it. Truth be told i’d rather be outside. You know. Where we all should be.
I’ll keep drifting from place to place, from job to job and leaving a trace of highly entertained onlookers.
And that is the end of my semi margarita infused blog post.
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“The earth is mostly just a boneyard. But pretty in the sunlight.”
Everyone has different ways of coping with homesickness. Some people write about it, others embrace it.. but me? I carry a jar of dirt with me, yup — thats right. Texas dirt. Texas is the first place away from Denmark that i’ve ever felt at home or like i could stay there for the rest of my life; as a drifter thats saying a whole lot. I haven’t opened the jar since we left almost three years ago, the ground inside is from our little piece of land on the outskirts of town, the leaf was the first that fell and the empty bullet well thats another story. My little jar of Lone Star sits by my bedside and comforts me when the days get too long. I think back to that brick house where the coyotes used to gather like fruit flies, where i ended up showering with a lizard and an angry scorpion consistently hid in my boots.
When night fell over Gazebo street our backyard became a fair ground of playing stars dancing for the limelight. We’d stand and watch them roll, shoot and shine for hours whilst the mosquitoes bled us dry. It was worth every minute.
I remember one evening when summer was turning to autumn. We slept with the window open. Around 4.30am i heard a high pitched eerie howl as beautiful as ever it could be. Outside my window was a lone coyote, right outside. I didn’t dare look but i could smell her breathing and i sure as hell could hear her singing. The wind was almost cool and soothing — rare for South East Texas. In the distance a whole band of coy dogs began to yip and yawh, so my friend of the night disappeared into the brush. I will never forget that early morning, and though i was too freaked out to look through the dark for her, it is one of my fondest memories. I have a soft spot for coyotes and wolves, for farmers and ranchers they’re little devils, but to me they’re like me. Drifting from place to place and part of the pack.
My pack amounts to three, and thats how it should be.
So there on my bedside table is my comforting jar of dirt that wakes a memory or two.
” Yesterday’s gone on down the river and you can’t get it back.”
Welcome to the first of another year. I hope you all had a happy new years eve and continue to have a great year.
Do what you love. Laugh. Explore. Be happy. Do nothing once in a while and drink yourself drunk now n’ again. Switch off from social media when the time is right.
Most importantly stop comparing yourself and your life to others.
You’re you and thats just fine.
Happy 1st of January 2018 !
“If you wait, all that happens is that you get older.”⠀🌾🐞
I’m definitely a a snow baby — i was born in June but i’ve always preferred winter over summer, not that both don’t have their good and bad sides. Well its officially the first of December — the first advent has started and i enjoyed my day by sipping piping hot tea and flicking through and old book handed down to me called ” Dronningens Læge.” Its an old book with old newspaper cutouts from articles about the real story behind the book. This little spine of pages smells like the magic of the forest and whisper of the wind, and i can’t wait till i have the time to sit down and really focus on the words and the story.
Its on my to read list and its pretty high up there so when i finish “Buffalo Girls” and “Vorherres rævefælde” this might be my next stop on the literary path. However its a matter of how i feel when i finish a book that determines my next step. If i have a book hang over — all betters are off and shit hits the fan. But for now i’ll pretend i’ll read it soon because its a warming thought.
Now, back to the candlelight and hot tea.
A goodnight, i bid thee!
“We dont see things as they are, we see them as we are,” and its so true. It was thanksgiving last week and instead of sitting at a table eating semi-dry turkey we packed up our car and drove due North — to the mountains. Some of you may have seen an update on my insta-story. I’m not really one for holidays apart from Christmas and i’m terrible with dates, to me it was just another day. The further north we went the more the winter caved in on us like a light fog. The roads started to bristle with ice and the trees sprinkled flakes as we drove. Winter is my favourite time of year; i love warm sweaters, knitted blankets, cuddling with Basil on the sofa and any excuse to wear my big snow boots — i’ll take it!
It was around lunch time so it had already started to get dark but the lighting was perfect for photography even the evening was on pointe; warm and softening — my favourite light to work with but unfortunately i don’t get out as much as i’d like to take pictures. I’m glad that i did, my excitement for photographic art was renewed and working with my camera was rewarding.
In short it was a perfect day with perfect company.
Sometimes we need small things to remind us why we work so hard everyday, why we do what we need to so we can do the things that make us happy and make every day a little more special. Photographing my drifting and travels is a huge part of my life (though i sometimes try to deny it when i get frustrated), but sadly sometimes i neglect it because its hard to afford consistent upgrading of equipment and i also work too much. At least too much to go out and take pictures as much as i’d like.
We drove the Kangamangus highway. We were told it was beautiful in the fall, but no — its at its most beautiful in the winter. No body else was up there and miles of forest/mountain road a head of us. We stopped wherever we wanted and Basil was able to explore without disturbance.
Deep in the forest of the mountains was a secret kept only by mountains and trolls… a quiet lake lined in trees and hidden under a thick sheet of ice — completely forgotten as all the tourists and geese had travelled to warmer states. There it was in the winter sun with three playing ducks bathing in the only pool of water left unfrozen. Animals nickered, scratched, squeaked and scarpered. And that warm light i told you about started to die.
Just a humdrum day, in the drifters apartment today. Its raining outside and i’m just sitting down to some ikea food because thats about as close to Danish food as i can get here. Sadly. At least i HAVE that though otherwise i’d be weeping into my pillow every night in sorrow and loss.
Oh and i have my new cactus, Abenaki, for company — the third of my little group of pricks.
“I’m glad I’ve been wrong enough to keep in practice. . . You can’t avoid it, you’ve got to learn to handle it. If you only come face to face with your own mistakes once or twice in your life it’s bound to be extra painful. I face mine every day–that way they ain’t usually much worse than a dry shave.” ― Larry McMurtry, Lonesome Dove