the hardest thing on earth

“The hardest thing on earth is choosing what matters”

The most beautiful truth — choosing what matters. We all had dreams when we were young, and even still nothing has or may ever become of them. I wanted to be a runner and i’m not talking for want of a gold medal or world renown fame in the olympics. No. I’m talking Forest Gump running. My little heart wanted to race as far as my even smaller legs could take me. It didn’t matter where or how: Its just what i wanted. To this day i’m a great runner but due to snapping ankles that dream can never truly “be.” You know what? Thats just fine. That doesn’t mean the dream is gone but Its life. Now I have created a life that has taken me to places i thought i’d never reach, never could dream of or ever dared to think i’d go to. I don’t aspire for a certain career or job. I try to spend every day doing something i enjoy. I work jobs that i dreamed of having as a child. Sometimes i pick up horse shit — its worth every minute as i get lots of cuddles, become more understanding and have horse snot all over me on a constant basis ( what a bonus!) Other days i write and write and write and write etc.. Sometimes i act, other times i’m a photographer. I’m very lucky and everyday i realise that a little more. I’m thankful for what i have and what i do.

This last year or so i’ve really starting pursuing things i want to do in life. A dream is to have a ranch of my own with a couple of horses, maybe sheep or goats and some form of feathery egg laying bird (no rooster because they don’t usually like me). If i’m feeling really crazy, i am, i’d love to have a big old honorary long horn. I’d love to have acres of land that i can ride out on, camp and live free. I’ve been working on farms as much as i can, getting to be around horses again and working on the ground work/care/riding . Meeting some lovely people with the same interest who i can learn from  + who are willing to show me the ropes. I used to be around horses a lot when i was younger but then i got busy with school, theatre, writing and then travelling — so i had to build that part of my life again. Its hard because i have to start over, but i’m glad im clever enough to want to learn it again.

Ultimately I choose life; and living it to the absolute full. I may never be the rider i want to be but i’ll happily spend my days trying to get there, putting in the hours, the money when i have it; at the end i can smile and say i gave it my damnedest. Finding the small things to be happy about in life is easy when you life for yourself. When you try to focus one what truly brings light into your life–thats when you’re rich.  I don’t live to work. I don’t live for social media. This blog is about as active as i get when it comes to computers. If you’ve seen my facebook/instagram you’ll see that its shocking how bad i am at keeping up with it. Truth be told i’d rather be outside. You know. Where we all should be.
I’ll keep drifting from place to place, from job to job and leaving a trace of highly entertained onlookers.

And that is the end of my semi margarita infused blog post.

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Shorty, a very large sweet boy, snoozing in the snow and loving the afternoon sun.
Mac and his icy whiskers
Ruby and i.
Na na na na naa!
My new BearPaw snow boots — incredible! (No, i havent been paid to say that, they really are good !)

“The earth is mostly just a boneyard. But pretty in the sunlight.”

the first of another

” Yesterday’s gone on down the river and you can’t get it back.”
Welcome to the first of another year. I hope you all had a happy new years eve and continue to have a great year.
Do what you love. Laugh. Explore. Be happy. Do nothing once in a while and drink yourself drunk now n’ again. Switch off from social media when the time is right.
Most importantly stop comparing yourself and your life to others.
You’re you and thats just fine.

Happy 1st of January 2018 !
the 1st of another

a humdrum day

Just a humdrum day, in the drifters apartment today. Its raining outside and i’m just sitting down to some ikea food because thats about as close to Danish food as i can get here. Sadly. At least i HAVE that though otherwise i’d be weeping into my pillow every night in sorrow and loss.

a humdrum day
Oh and i have my new cactus, Abenaki,  for company — the third of my little group of pricks.

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rough around her edges

“I’m glad I’ve been wrong enough to keep in practice. . . You can’t avoid it, you’ve got to learn to handle it. If you only come face to face with your own mistakes once or twice in your life it’s bound to be extra painful. I face mine every day–that way they ain’t usually much worse than a dry shave.” ― Larry McMurtry, Lonesome Dove

a visitor of yarn-y proportions

In the mornings i work at a lovely horse farm down the road, with lovely friendly people and super sweet horses. I’ve always said i could never work at a desk or behind a screen because it would drive me crazy; i need to work with my hands and my body (by that i mean acting and no prostitution just to clarify). So farm work is right up my alley — plus i love everything horse/animal related. So as im going about my daily business i get a visitor of yarn-y proportions sneaking into my stall.

a visitor of yarn-y proportions

He is the sweetest most affection sheep i have ever met in my life! And now i obviously need one in my life. I’ve worked a lot of farms and every single one has had sheep, but never-nibbling-your-shirt-&-kitty-head-butting sheep that desperately wanted affection. My heart……


For a long time i’ve wanted my own land with my own animals — unfortunately for me and my wallet the list is continuously getting longer. So next to the two longhorns, several cats, dogs and horses i now need a sheep or two.

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Theres nothing quite like living with animals in the world — they’re so upfront and honest; not to mention full of personality. Im grateful i get to spend so much of my time with them because i relate more to them than people. The unspoken respect and knowing. Yes, i’m a very happy with my mucky boots and dirty jeans if it means i get to horse around. And come on, how cute is he ? His wool was super soft too and i was thinking if i had my own sheep i’d get to spin my own yarn. But that is another dream for another day.

a lighthouse and the mountain

Four days from Halloween, and the weather is perfect. The sky is blue and clear, the wind is brisk and there is a longed-for chil — finally. I might regret that last statement when theres 10 feet of snow outside and i can’t feel my feet, but for now im happy that summer is finally at an end. Its been dragging this year and i’m desperate to start wearing comfy snow boots and some wooly coats. Also — christmas?!

Today we spent our Saturday exploring Mount Agamenticus with Basil. We were hoping to see some form of wildlife but that idea was busted when a huge family decided to give their 30 kids a set of whistles as party favours. Fantastic parenting and consideration for others. Everyone on the mountain that wasn’t invited to said party had a pretty lousy experience. The noise decimated all hope of wildlife, and in general ruined the ambience of such a pretty place.

mountain
Thankfully i still managed to get a couple of shots without the millions of screaming children in the trees and on the cliff sides. Its not the tallest mountain — and it doesn’t have to be (its elevation is only 692′) . Its a beautiful reservation and habitat for wildlife — something our world is beginning to lack i might add. I worked on a few boats my first few years living in New England, where i’d seen the small mountain on the horizon when we were returning to Portsmouth. They say its a “noted landmark for sailors,” which it was to me before it ever became known as “Mount Agamenticus.” So it was special to finally get up there and see it from the other side. Mountain to the sea and vice versa.

lighthouse and the mountain

After we were good and tuckered out from the mountain we took a leisurely drive and ended up at the Nubble Lighthouse. I personally would love to live like this — being the antisocial hermit that i am. Its a beautiful little island separated from the mainland by a watery grave. Your own little world just outside of everyone else’s — i mean what could be more perfect?
Signalling ships + piece and quiet = one happy camper.

Bet its cold as balls in the winter mind you.

the lighthouse

a witch house

A witch house, thats right. A witch house still stands in the heart of Salem, Mass. Ok thats not entirely that surprising. However, this house was actually inhabited till the late 1940’s — which is kinda baffling considering everything that happened there. It may just be me who is overly superstitious but just the thought of ghosty puritan goings on in my house would freak the hell outta me. So, it really does impress me that it was inhabited for so long after the witch hunts & hearings; the museum that it is now was incredible. Its a little piece of history locked into the heart of a growing city.

I wont lie and tell you Salem was everything i hoped for — its wasn’t. As the historically inclined & imaginative soul that i am i had imagined dirt roads, rotting gallows and and clinking ships bells. That wasn’t the case mind you it in parts it wasn’t too far off. The Friendship of Salem calls the Sail Loft, across from the customs house on the harbour, its home. I haven’t seen her in person with her masts and spars up but i’ve seen/touched the rest. So, all in all i’m satisfied and my heart bleeds, not because of the congenital heart defect i was born with but for all those poor lost souls who were mercilessly hung on pure superstition and whispers.

a witch house

agiocochook peak

Its the windiest place on earth, so they say. Agiocochook peak, better known as Mount Washington — was my first mountain. I mean i’ve seen them before from a plane, an airport or just passing through high country on a road trip, but i’d never been to the top. I’ve always found solace in being out at sea under full sail, or riding in the back country of Texas on horse back — but there is a peace in the mountains. A peace that spreads from peak to peak. You’re above the world, away from your everyday hustle and bustle — a life drowning in technology, must do’s and boundaries . Mountains are raw and dangerous, but remind us that the world; though it seems tame below, is far from a kept housewife on easy street.

mount washington state park

asd

mount washington
In some areas it looked so desolate and forgotten — like the surface of mars or earth after an apocalyptic catastrophe. I’ve always admired mountains; the peaks and bumps always reminded me of sleeping trolls that were hiding till nightfall. As a kid in Denmark — i grew up wary of the woods because of the trolls. I might be the only one, but i was always safer rather than sorry. And thus far — i haven’t been chewed in half by an angry troll.

on top of the world

I was on top of the world once.
Still, as i scurry around the earth looking for my place, there are unexpected wonders on every corner. Those wonders that make every day a little easier and those that show you how unimportant your problems are. Some days are hard, when i look out at a country i don’t recognise as my own and i listen to languages that aren’t comforting, but nature is universal. The wind kisses me where ever i am and for that, i am grateful. For now, if i have no hope in my ever anxious mind, i know i will at least have the wind in my spirits.


littlemrs.flynn