novels, 100 subscribers & future plans

Well it’s that time of year again where people become greedy and start really getting in my way in the grocery shop, vexing me to no bloody end. Why must you stop right at the f**king exit? I will go through you and you will roll like a bowling pin.
Happy Fecking Christmas everybody.


Christmas is probably my favourite time of the year, because i get to whack out all my danish Christmas decorations and i can pretend i’m home in Denmark; that my family are just down the road.
So far i feel so very productive. I reached my g0al of 100 subscribers on youtube, which i set for myself last month. It was something that i wanted to accomplish before the end of 2018.  I’m so glad that you all enjoyed my first vlog, it was a lot of fun to try and i’m planning my next one. I was going to film it last Friday but ended up working that day. So next week hopefully!
And those of you who follow me on instagram know that i just finished writing a short novel i’ve been working on for about a 1.5 years. It’s such a bizarre feeling that i’m finished telling that story, it sucks that its a little too short to be a stand alone novel but i’ve decided to write a collection of short stories instead. And that’s really exciting! ( i was always told by teachers not to start sentences with “and” but fuck it, i like to live dangerously.)
The fact that i’m done with a story means i desperately want to publish it right this minute, however, i don’t want to rush this kind of project. Bearing my heart in those pages means i have to do it right, even if that means waiting till other stories are finished being told.

Sadly all the snow has decided to melt even though its cold as balls outside, boo! So filming has been put off for The Outlaw and the Ranger till the snow returns — which it will, i will finish this project before we leave, by god! Until then we’re fixing the behind the scene works and the tech, thats just as important as the acting itself. Equipment is being sorted, music written, wardrobe situated and script writing.  I’d be lying if i said this wasn’t part of the dream. It is. Jack and i are actors, this is what we do best. I’ve tried acting in the USA in random places and so far  — well thats a whole other blog post that i’ll write one day.
Anyway, this is what we do.
I can’t wait till we can get more actors on board for future work when we have our own land in Texas, but for right now its just us and the music man. This will help us figure out the kinks and get the basics down on what we want to do and become. We’ve even started discussing names for the eventual company we’d like to start, its all in the works. It’ll be hard and we’ll get knocked back, but it’s all learning and living.
I will say its quite hard to balance everything, but i’m enjoying the process of finding out.


“Little by little, the look of the land changes by the men we admire.”
― Larry McMurtry.🌿

a beautiful night sky

Hello everyone! Its 6.26pm Saturday night and its black as a cave drop outside already. Winter is definitely here.
It’s been a lazy day just puttering around the apartment sorting through clothes, books etc. I really want to downsize the things I have. One reason is to make moving so much simpler and two because I just hating having so much random “stuff.” Maybe its since I’ve moved across the world and I realize what material things matter and which don’t, on the other hand it might the hole Danish thing of hating clutter. Which I do. With a passion.
Anyway as I was tucking into some old pizza this afternoon I saw these orange sun lined clouds flying across the sky, and I ran out to the balcony to watch them go. The cold wind smacked me in the face like an angry ex-boyfriend.
I gave Jack my “I MUST PHOTOGRAPH THAT” look, pulled on my jeans, vintage sweater and some snow boots — Jack pulled on clothes and flip flops. Resulting in him almost losing all his toes, because its cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey.
And so we chased the sun down as we burned daylight.
He’s so lovely to let me follow my soul wherever it takes me, and knowing that he’ll always be right there next to me.
He’s made of diamonds that one.

Recently everything has been changing, but finally things seem to be finding their way. I work a job I enjoy with nice people, and it’ll do for now, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say I need more. I want to shoe horses. I want to be in the crows nest with the sails beneath me full as a fat baby at breakfast. I want to draw western scapes filled with bluebonnets and longhorns. I want to ride. To have a farm. I want to photograph all the hours of my day away. I want to act on the stages I built with my bare hands. I want to make people laugh and forget how terrible the world can seem.
I’m not made like everyone else. I’m made of earth, stones and sea water all held within a fox hide. I live in the land of dreams and I’ll chase them. So for now i’m glad things have settled, and that I have time to process things that need processing, but I can’t wait to get back to where I feel I need to be — Texas. The sooner the better. It’s the last place I felt truly inspired and apart of something. I can always grasp at nature, but when you live somewhere that doesn’t call to you — there’s only one thing to do and that’s get up and go to where they wind blows you.  So here’s hoping next year that we’re out of New England.
It’s time to start living. I wear my boots and my Stetson with pride. I need to feel that old dust under my feet as my heel growls on the gravel. I want to film the Texas sunrise and watch the deer running.


This evening was such a perfect moment. Watching the clouds roll by, the dark looming in and being with my best friend laughing; talking about nothing.
Just what I needed.
How did you spend your Saturday night?

Don’t forget to subscribe to my youtube channel ! ♡

pulling a Captain Call

“He didn’t tell him that even when life seemed easy, it kept on getting harder.”

“Well you could always pull a Captain Call,” – Matt LeBlanc, my maid of honor and our best friend said when we told him how upset we were that Basil died in New England.
A place that isn’t home to any of us. As always, that man is a gift to us and I don’t think he realizes it.
I’ve never thought about where I’ll die, because it never mattered to me whether I lived or not. I figure when I die my bones will be where they lay. I’ll be dust to the wind and no one will mourn because they’ll know how free I am. However, with Basil it always mattered. If I could change one thing I would have walked Basil back to Texas, even if it meant walking right through my shoes. Every stone making me wince but my bloody feet would have carried us home no matter what.

“It’s like I told you last night son. The earth is mostly just a boneyard. But pretty in the sunlight, he added,”
Augustus McCrae.

Everything went so fast and suddenly. Just a month ago he was still playing, running and being the beagle he always has been. He never stopped wanting to play, but by the end he just couldn’t. I wanted so desperately for him to feel the warmth of the Texas sunset on his face again, to roll around in the hottest and most dangerous grass of America again — where we all felt safe. After all. Basil was a Texas boy just like Jack. I do wonder if bringing him home in time would have changed anything, but realistically his legs would still have begun to drag, so I don’t know that it could’ve helped — but we all loved Texas. So it just might have.

“I’m glad I’ve been wrong enough to keep in practice. . . You can’t avoid it, you’ve got to learn to handle it. If you only come face to face with your own mistakes once or twice in your life it’s bound to be extra painful. I face mine every day–that way they ain’t usually much worse than a dry shave.”
Augustus McCrae.

Those who know me intimately know that I am to be cremated with my favorite book, Lonesome Dove. Jack bought Lonesome Dove for me from goodwill telling me “its a classic and you have to read it.” I remember the day we bought it. We’d had double Daves pizza with bacon and pepperoni, rummaged around goodwill and then ended up in Hobby lobby as we often do.
He didn’t tell me it would change my life. That it would shake every bone in my body and be the worst book hang over I have ever experienced in my entire life.
It took me a while to get around to reading it, because my reading list is from here to everywhere; but I started reading it a few months before we made our big move up north, I read it along the way and I finished it in our first months in our new place.  Six months it took me. We were making as big a trip as they were in the book. It is the greatest gift I’ve ever been given. Just like Gus — Basil’s legs were ultimately the death of him. I didn’t realize that our ending would be somewhat the same, but it fits that Basil was our Gus McCrae. Because of the two I am definitely Woodrow.
Basil was a wonderful reminder that things can be good and life is precious we just have to realize it. Things aren’t always as bad as they seem.

“It ain’t dying I’m talking about, it’s living. I doubt it matters where you die, but it matters where you live.” Spoken by Augustus McCrae. 

A memory that I cherish, that I have secretly treasured all these years is from when we lived in bum fuck Egypt Texas, in the little red brick house with snakes in the piping… where frogs in the yard were the size of a finger nail. The army of coyotes that we lived with sang us to sleep every night and where Basil got addicted to meth.

“The stars in Texas could have been taken from Van Gogh’s Starry night. They shine like crystals freckled across a deep velvet sky and are laced in a fluff of cloud. They bring the coyotes to song and lullaby bluejays to sleep. Crickets hum and tweak somewhere in the brush. When I looked up I was surrounded by a circle of what seemed the worlds tallest trees. The moon danced delicately around; being kissed by stars as it swung by. How small I was here. I was so far from anything familiar. Yet, I think I found it. “It.” What many never find in a lifetime, I found by the time I was 20.
I found me, and I’ll be damned if I didn’t find me in Texas.

So here I stand staring at the sky holding his hand: stars rolling on and time passing. Mosquitoes buzzing and bleeding us dry. Texas taught me that freedom does exist you just have to find it: whether it’s riding in the dusty brush or sitting at the bar with two southern gentlemen talking about absolutely nothing. Jack taught me how to find happiness in the darkest corners, how to fight for love and how to make tacos. Now I’m living in a wild and dangerous country, and everything is trying to eat me alive. Its true, Texas made a woman out of me and I wouldn’t change a thing.” 

This was taken from a previous piece I wrote about moving to Texas, and this is the memory that I have been visiting. It wounds me but its a place that I can escape to because it was a moment where there was peace, and we had everything ahead of us. We were three. Though Basil is not mentioned, he is in there. You just have to look. In every word. Every breath. Every single letter — he’s in there somewhere. As much apart of the words as the stars above us or the air we breathed. He was at our feet watching the stars just as we were. Watching us. Knowing probably that one day we’d be ok when he wasn’t around. That little comfort didn’t know how big he was. Truly. That boy could carry the world on his shoulders. He is the tank you wanna ride into war, because he will carry you out. Every time. And he’ll never complain. But he’ll be there. Taking every bullet and every piece of shrapnel.

So as our final thank you to you Basil, we’ll carry you home to Texas. Just as Woodrow Call carried Gus McCrea. We made a promise, and though others may find it stupid or too much for “just a dog”, it was a promise made in utter love. I would do it for Jack and I would do it for you. We’ll take you back to where the stars are so big you could pick them. Where we all were so happy, even through our growing pains. Where we were all so young, so stupid and ready to get out and live. That’s where we’ll all go — and we’ll go together. Like always.

How stupid we were to want to get out and live, when we were already dreaming.

“Yesterday’s gone on down the river and you can’t get it back.”
Augustus McCrae.

Live through it,” Call said. “That’s all we can do.”

trolls across the pond

Ever since i was a child i was frightened of wandering into the woods alone.
There were all kinds of darknesses between the gnarled tree trunks, and the tricksters hiding under a blanket of moss that covered the forest bed. I always had the feeling that i was a little girl in a H.C Andersen fairytale. The gloom of his depresses and the depth of his fantastical visions ever present in the Danish countryside that i grew up in. Life had lessons for me even then, and the innocence was always laced in a dim light of frightening events.


All my life i’ve believed in the legends of norse mythology.
Trolls eating rocks and all the bad little children. Having a house nisse to keep your home safe and Thor hammering mjölnir into the sky when he’s angry.


After all these years im glad those childish beliefs and thoughts have never left me. Still now, as i wander through the thicket of a forest and climb the crumpled stones — i think of those mountain kings, the big nosed trolls and the bad witches. I wonder what they’re doing and if they are with me on turtle island — or if they keep to the nordic scapes alone.
I wonder if i ran into a troll if he would speak in tongues.


In truth i contemplate if i am a viking alone on a vast continent of settlers, and thats all there is to it. I have no kinship and no ancestors here, but i believe that thor still pisses through the clouds when hes drunk — and that odin still watches over me when times are tough.


I am so thankful for my heritage, my history and where i come from.
An old country kid from danish farm country, blood of the vikings and ravens as my guardian angels.
This blog post is nothing special — just random ramblings to clear my mind.

Happy Thursday!