exciting news

Good evening lovely readers!
Today is a special day and I have exciting news to share with you!!
I have officially signed up for my class at the university, and it starts at the end of January. I’ll be taking Beginners Indigenous language. Ever since I was a child I’ve wanted to study an Indigenous language and now it’s another thing off my bucket list; something I didn’t think I’d ever get to do.

leather boots under a table

The process of becoming a student at the university was a shitpit of cock ups, and I will probably not do it again any time soon. I was incredibly frustrated with how poorly it was run and how little information I was provided with. At one point I threw in the towel and said fuck it. I won’t study anything while I’m here because it was such an upwards battle just to become a student. Jack had to pick me up from the floor, as he so often does with a broken wife, but finally it seems everything has worked out.

pen and paper

Today I registered for the class. I hope the young child in me appreciates the endless dreams I bring to fruition for her. It’s led me on a lost path somewhere to the west of everyone else, but her little dreams are coming true. I might not be able to make her a truly happy soul but I can give her a life that she can tell stories about and smile, even if it is for but a fleeting moment. I’ll give her whatever I have and none of it could be done without Jack backing me.

sun flares
shoes deep in snow
sun through the tree tops
gnarled tree

There’s nothing in this world I can’t do, at least i feel that way sometimes, and I can be proud that I picked others up along the way. And I am. Never in my life have I stood on a broken back or laughed at the face of paucity. The only person I have ever hindered has been myself, but I’m working on that. When I was little my mother would braid my hair and send me out into a world where everyone but me spoke English. I was terrified. However when I stepped out of our house looking like Pippi Longstocking, feeling like there was nothing I couldn’t do…nothing could break me. Now I speak better English than the men round the Queens table.
I hold on to this memory with everything I have. I’m still that little kid with long red pigtails, big front teeth and i was strong enough to carry a horse. I glide through life making people laugh, struggling and dreaming and remembering and hating the nostalgia. And going on poetic rants on blog posts…apparently.

young girl who looks like pippi longstocking

It’ll be strange to be a student once more. Not that I suppose I ever stopped being a student – we’re all children of the world after all and we should never stop learning. 95% learning can’t be done in a class room which is why instead of following everyone else to university… I went to the coast and sailed with my best friend. Then I flew to America. And you know the basics.

night sky looming in
Sundown and star

This evening my heart can rest. Today I did something for me that I have wanted and wished for. Something to help me onwards on the path I’ve taken.

Well, it’s īsibī-ta-nī-ni, time for lying down.
And I wish you a good night and happy dreaming.

what i do when i disappear

Its been a few days since i wrote on the blog. I haven’t been particularly busy but i occasionally enjoy turning off from social media and emails. Actually i enjoy it quite a lot. I refuse to depend on technology, having it rule every inch. No sir, i wont be a part of that. The only real social platform i like through and through is blogging — i really enjoy reading about others and the parts of their lives they decide to share. Do you have a favourite blog? Let me know in the comments!

Anyway, this is what i did when i was off the grid.

jack rabbit tracks in the snow

I wore my favourite wellington boots in the snow and stood in the sunshine, living it up to the max.

this is the sweater i’m currently working on, it’s a Danish variation of the Norwegian traditional sweater with closure clasps.

I knitted for hours and hours and hours and hours etc.

pink lemonade infused water with a whole grain cheese and bell pepper thin.

I had quiet lunches watching Danish tv, specifically a show called “Doggystyle” which is pretty damn good.

beginnings and hope and onwards.

I followed the sunshine as it swung from East to West.

light snow flakes and ready for a saturday evening run

I went for a run in the snowy evening.

the same shade of red as the danish flag <3

I appreciated a fence, because paint-faded anything is worth a second look. Couldn’t you just image a bunch of nutty kids running past this fence on their way to a scary-ass adventure that turns into the next best seller? I would be the redhead kid that was stronger than an ox and twice as ornery.

We took a drive through Albany county to see the sleepy mountains under their blankets of snow and clouds.

And thats what i did.
I dreamt about writing and ghost stories and where the birds go at night. Tomorrow it’s back to work, but this week is a three day week and that means two extra days of utter bewildering freedom of no bras or tied up hair. No unflattering trousers or button up shirts. Thats the life. What do you do when you go off the grid?

Have a great week, sugar.
Be free and find happiness in a candle light.
It all counts.

a little post and an update

The first day of work has long since passed.
And no – it wasn’t as bad as I thought thankfully. Bad experiences, however, can’t help but cause one alarm once in a while and everyone is always bricking it on the first day.

Yesterday we had our first snow and the first flash of bitter cold that won’t compare to the true cold winter has to offer us for however long we stay in Wyoming. I think I could stay but I’d always be wondering what the sea was doing without me and if I was missing out, someplace else.  I can tell that Jack is ready to be home in Texas where the sun is always hot and everything is familiar, I don’t blame him. He’s a hot blooded creature and likes hot blooded places – though I find him quite at home in Denmark too. The man flourishes on burning plains not frozen ones. Having said that he’s a good egg and there’s nothing he can’t tackle . We both enjoy it here immensely, truly,  but there comes a time when the body starts yearning to be where your grave will be planted.
Without a doubt I can definitely relate to that dreadful pining for home though. That has hit me pretty hard lately, it has its moments and its ups and downs. It comes often and then hardly at all.  Such is life sadly. And it goes on — the harshest words in history. Life goes on. Oh what a terrible thing though you’re glad it does in some way.

The best way to describe how I am feeling  – I am tired of being foreign. It’s a fucking hard job to keep up. It’s work. Even going home to Denmark I’m foreign and that is a great pain to me. A heavy weight on my shoulders that already have mountains piled high.

This week I started drivers ed, which is as dull and time consuming as it sounds but it only feels as such due to the copious amounts of free time I now don’t have. I had to cancel all my hours at the antique shop which I really enjoyed, for the whole month because there’s not enough time in the day. Feeling much like a confined animal whose being poked at from all different angles, that’s me lately and I’m ever so tired. This is the realistic life of a traveler. It’s not all hot suns, sandaled feet and perfect pictures for posting. Its bloody noses, falling on ice and the most magical experiences that you don’t always have to share with someone else.

Starting over. New jobs. New places and faces and situations that might not be what you expected. October is already a very stressful month for me. I can’t relax because I want the driving over with because its 45 minutes to the class room, it interferes with my job and my evenings but that’s adulting. 14 hour days and very few hours of sleep. Quite so. And when it’s over I’ll find another blasted thing to bother me because such is the life of me. The class itself is fine – all three hours of it. I can drive alright but it’s the other cars I have an issue with, so.. take that for what it is.

I believe in making the most of everyday though. At work there can be a lot of time where there’s nothing to do, and instead of sitting there reading the comedy of errors that is the news or wasting away of on Facebook – I find free books to read and i always do writing exercises. Every day. For those of you who don’t know… reading is 50% writing and I do it to keep up my creativeness as much as possible and keep my soul from running the fuck away. I stumbled across some wonderful sailing novels that I thoroughly enjoyed and there also happened to be two novels by Jens Peter Jacobsen, a Danish man with a talent for modernism and brimful descriptions. It was well translated, that has to be said, but Danish books (and any foreign book in general) should always be read in their mother tongue. So much is lost in translation and words are changed entirely if there IS no translation.
Having said that, if you’re reading you’re already winning.

And finally…
Christmas is coming and we’ll be spending it in Denmark with all the family. I haven’t been able to spend Christmas at home for many many years now and Denmark is the best place on earth at Christmas time. Believe me.
This Christmas, though a few are missing from the table this year and from beneath it, will be special and annoying and full of laughter and a ridiculous amount of food for a single belly to muster. Really I have had a lot of great things taken care of within only 6 weeks and everything is well, however because I’m on the loopy side of depressive all I can focus on is getting the damn driving over with, so I can have my creative hours back in my every day. I’m sure some of you can relate. If you’re creative and you’re kept from your output – you’re a god damn disaster. A bomb walking around meanly ticking at good people.

Enjoy your Friday night and find the good in your day, 24 hours at a time.