the hardest thing on earth

“The hardest thing on earth is choosing what matters”

The most beautiful truth — choosing what matters. We all had dreams when we were young, and even still nothing has or may ever become of them. I wanted to be a runner and i’m not talking for want of a gold medal or world renown fame in the olympics. No. I’m talking Forest Gump running. My little heart wanted to race as far as my even smaller legs could take me. It didn’t matter where or how: Its just what i wanted. To this day i’m a great runner but due to snapping ankles that dream can never truly “be.” You know what? Thats just fine. That doesn’t mean the dream is gone but Its life. Now I have created a life that has taken me to places i thought i’d never reach, never could dream of or ever dared to think i’d go to. I don’t aspire for a certain career or job. I try to spend every day doing something i enjoy. I work jobs that i dreamed of having as a child. Sometimes i pick up horse shit — its worth every minute as i get lots of cuddles, become more understanding and have horse snot all over me on a constant basis ( what a bonus!) Other days i write and write and write and write etc.. Sometimes i act, other times i’m a photographer. I’m very lucky and everyday i realise that a little more. I’m thankful for what i have and what i do.

This last year or so i’ve really starting pursuing things i want to do in life. A dream is to have a ranch of my own with a couple of horses, maybe sheep or goats and some form of feathery egg laying bird (no rooster because they don’t usually like me). If i’m feeling really crazy, i am, i’d love to have a big old honorary long horn. I’d love to have acres of land that i can ride out on, camp and live free. I’ve been working on farms as much as i can, getting to be around horses again and working on the ground work/care/riding . Meeting some lovely people with the same interest who i can learn from  + who are willing to show me the ropes. I used to be around horses a lot when i was younger but then i got busy with school, theatre, writing and then travelling — so i had to build that part of my life again. Its hard because i have to start over, but i’m glad im clever enough to want to learn it again.

Ultimately I choose life; and living it to the absolute full. I may never be the rider i want to be but i’ll happily spend my days trying to get there, putting in the hours, the money when i have it; at the end i can smile and say i gave it my damnedest. Finding the small things to be happy about in life is easy when you life for yourself. When you try to focus one what truly brings light into your life–thats when you’re rich.  I don’t live to work. I don’t live for social media. This blog is about as active as i get when it comes to computers. If you’ve seen my facebook/instagram you’ll see that its shocking how bad i am at keeping up with it. Truth be told i’d rather be outside. You know. Where we all should be.
I’ll keep drifting from place to place, from job to job and leaving a trace of highly entertained onlookers.

And that is the end of my semi margarita infused blog post.

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Shorty, a very large sweet boy, snoozing in the snow and loving the afternoon sun.
Mac and his icy whiskers
Ruby and i.
Na na na na naa!
My new BearPaw snow boots — incredible! (No, i havent been paid to say that, they really are good !)

“The earth is mostly just a boneyard. But pretty in the sunlight.”

a visitor of yarn-y proportions

In the mornings i work at a lovely horse farm down the road, with lovely friendly people and super sweet horses. I’ve always said i could never work at a desk or behind a screen because it would drive me crazy; i need to work with my hands and my body (by that i mean acting and no prostitution just to clarify). So farm work is right up my alley — plus i love everything horse/animal related. So as im going about my daily business i get a visitor of yarn-y proportions sneaking into my stall.

a visitor of yarn-y proportions

He is the sweetest most affection sheep i have ever met in my life! And now i obviously need one in my life. I’ve worked a lot of farms and every single one has had sheep, but never-nibbling-your-shirt-&-kitty-head-butting sheep that desperately wanted affection. My heart……


For a long time i’ve wanted my own land with my own animals — unfortunately for me and my wallet the list is continuously getting longer. So next to the two longhorns, several cats, dogs and horses i now need a sheep or two.

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Theres nothing quite like living with animals in the world — they’re so upfront and honest; not to mention full of personality. Im grateful i get to spend so much of my time with them because i relate more to them than people. The unspoken respect and knowing. Yes, i’m a very happy with my mucky boots and dirty jeans if it means i get to horse around. And come on, how cute is he ? His wool was super soft too and i was thinking if i had my own sheep i’d get to spin my own yarn. But that is another dream for another day.