brace yourself

Im trying to brace myself. Everyone is out of the office till the rest of the week and im absolutely taling advantage of that. Ive finished my writing exercise for the day and been looking for the 100th time for a single agent i feel positive about. Just to be a wee bit ahead 0f whatever game it is that im playing. I found three that i think i might be fantastic. Whether they’ll think the same of me is the hard part. We shall see.

Now. Ive had an obligatory office donut, i chose the one with almonds, and so for the rest of the day i will be writing my novel. Until around 2.30 when i steal away to the student center and kiss with Jack Kerouac for an hour. I would rather be home watching Secret Window of course. A weird movie to inspire someone but its my favourite film and i think of it often to get myself into the spirit of writing.

Lately ive had a few issues with HR at work which is why im so overly stressed and thinnly strung, but none of that now.

Now for my sweet characters that are ready to be laid to rest from me and live on in a book.

a day in the life of a lowly semi-published writer

It’s Friday, almost the best day of the week for me because my give-a-shit is nil and it’s almost Saturday. Today I wanted to show you what a regular day in my life looks like.

I woke up at dick o’clock this morning unable to breathe due to the air is awful dry here. I got ready, packed my work bag and before leaving I checked on the bird in my wash room; to make sure he was warm enough and had something to eat/drink while I’m gone.


And so into the frosty air we ventured to the bus stop and waited the 5 minutes it takes to arrive. The buses here are incredible. They come to the end of our road every 5 to 6 minutes until 6.30pm at night. As you can imagine this is very convenient as we barely use the car at all and can keep it in the garage when the weather is bad. Jack and I walk to work together, Jack walks me to my office because that’s love and when I reach my desk I’m usually 30 minutes early. I hate getting to work so early but it’s the best way to avoid an over cramped bus with too many students that all smell of body odor and mistakes.
Besides it gives me time to get into the mindset of being surrounded by people all day.

Throughout the day I do my job, which is what it is. My job helps pay to fund our habits of travel, swords, cameras and never ending balls of yarn – – until one day my books take the stand and see me paid for for the rest of my probably short life. Then I can have a sommerhus in Denmark and be surrounded by home when ancestral air whenever I like, and fly back to Wyoming or Texas; wherever my horses may be. Who knows, I may wish to return home for good one day. Denmark is very different these days though however.


When there is down time at work that is when I force myself to write, and some days it truly is a battle.
I’m lucky in that I can always produce good content when it comes to writing, but for me it is about find the adequate content for the right project. Anyway, I’ll put on my inspirational music which brings down my heart rate so I can relax into my story, and I can sit and type for hours and forget the day. That is the happiest and most pleasant part of my work day. I tested my heartrate theory the last few days in fact because I’m odd like that but with the way my heart has been in the past it’s not a bad idea to keep a close eye on it. My heart rate is at the same rate when I’m sleeping as it is when I’m writing, whereas the moment someone speaks to me or asked me to do something its rockets up to 78. That to me is proof that my body craves words like sex and air, and that I should probably go to the doctor but I’m not paying for that shit. If I do not write I become sick in the mind. Going to work I see as a way to force and teach myself into a routine where I can bring writing to fruition on a consistent basis. If only I could do the same with reading but if my bosses see me with a book in my hand that might be over kill. I do try to read a little before I sleep, you cannot write if you do not read. Then you are doing half the work and hoping for the best.

And that is where I am sitting right now. At work writing to you because today is a day where my novel and I are finding it hard to figure each other out. I find myself counting the minutes to lunch time every day because I do intermittent fasting where I don’t begin to eat until noon and then I stop eating at 8pm. At higher altitude that is a pretty hard habit to get into but I’m slowly making progress. I’ve made myself a special lunch today of fruit, home-made rye bread, dried cherry + spinach + kale salad with a dark chocolate oat drink. I made Jacks lunch for him last night and that was when the incident with blasted unboil-able rice occurred and no I’m not ready to talk about it. My heart rate immediately went to a solid 75 just mentioning it. 😉


So when I have finished here I shall go get my lunch and watch YouTube videos during my break. Proceed with whatever writing that I can until its home time. When that jubilant moment comes forth I shall find Jack, get on the bus and ride home to my domicile with pride and freedom in my heart.  Supposedly we are making a trip to Walmart for a new apple TV and then coming home where I will cook a Danish Meal called “millionbøf,” with scallions and vegetable spaghetti and bison meat.
Wow. Could that be anymore westernized than that? Bison meat instead of lovely Danish cows. I might even allow myself a dr.pepper (i did).  The space heater that looks like a cackle-oven will be lit and that’s when I’ll post this.


I’ve also planned my first real video since we’ve moved here, but when I have time to film it will be the question. I’ve been trying to discover the best settings in premier pro for exporting videos and the best camera settings but I’m not quite there yet. When I watch back my YouTube videos (rare) I notice that it looks compressed/sharpness has gone to balls and no matter what I do seems to fix the issue. I expect its many factors but its pisses me off. Its also a large part of the reason I don’t post as many videos as I’d like.


I wish you a good night and i hope you enjoyed a more in depth view of my life.
More to follow i’m sure. How did you spend your Friday today? 

a penny for your thoughts #1

We all know how hard it can be in a world where everything seems to be a competition.
Who has the best this, who does that better or who is the funniest.
Allow me to blow your mind here — it doesn’t matter, though i am one of the funniest.
Let’s just have that settled.

Recently i’ve received a lot of messages telling me how brave i was to move, ” i could never do that.” False.
You could, but you probably don’t want to. Thats probably all it is. And thats ok.
It may sound melodramatic, but no place has ever been truly home to me. So i’ve always found it easy to move because i’ve moved to new countries all my life. I spent almost every day of my life wishing i was everywhere but where i was. And that is a huge fault because it means i forget to live in the now. Every one has a different path. Looking back for the last two years its hit me hard how many times i should have been happy with what i had now that i don’t have it anymore. Cliché. No. It’s the honest and harsh reality of living. It’s not an epic adventure filled with childhood dreams and giggles. It’s fucking hard. And devastating. I find myself looking at others and just wishing i could be half as positive — but realistically i know they aren’t necessarily that happy behind the scenes. So let me tell you, and i’m telling myself this too — stop dreaming you were as pretty as her, she ain’t all that. Stop wishing he’d notice you — because if he hasn’t now he obviously doesn’t see the greatness that is YOU.  Just as you are. Stop wishing you were a million miles away because someone else makes a different place looks like a dream. Don’t allow social media to make you think you need to change.
And to myself, most absolutely, stop dreaming that anywhere but here is where living starts.
Sweet girl, it started 26 years ago and it’s about time you figured it out.