the western imposter

Hello everyone!
It’s another Monday night, and another day closer to the weekend. Boy i started counting down Sunday night. You bet i did.
Tonight i was supposed to go to the horse rescue but it showed to be far too cold to do anything, so only the feeders went out there this evening. I really wanted to go out there to get to know everyone more and to get over my anxiety a little. The more often i go the quicker that feeling subsides and i can feel like i can get more deeply involved. When i get anxious i stand in my own way, for example i wont go ahead and do something i know how to do unless i’m told. I’ll let someone show me how to do something even if i already know how to do it. See what i’m saying? Then later that’ll piss me off that i didn’t just go ahead and do it in the first place.
Nevertheless I’ll be going back on Wednesday to film some riding and lunging for an adoption video, maybe take a few pictures too. I haven’t brought the big camera out there yet but i look forward to the results. Hopefully i’ll be doing some lunging with Isabella Bird (27 year old thoroughbred who is the sweetest). I’d love to adopt her myself but i have no place to keep her — same with Prada the Arabian Princess. They are such sweethearts.
But if we’re moving again, which we most likely will, it’s just not possible for me to get a horse right now.
Bummer Ted.
It sucks that UW ruined Wyoming, because Wyoming is one of the most beautiful states i’ve ever seen in my life. Christ. The stuff of a little 6 years olds dreams of cowboys and campfires and wild horses.

Isabella Bird, named after the British explorer i believe.

It’s been a good 15 years or more since i lunged a horse, so you can bet your arse im out of practice. I also haven’t worked at barn for a year and a half now. It’s incredibly frustrating to stand in your own way, and i battle and beat my head against it daily. So even though all this socialising stresses me and worries me, i really love the company so far. Easy people to get a long with and they really want the best for the equines they care for. Not to mention that they seem more than happy to let me “in.” I kinda already feel like part of the group though i’m not as educated in the nature of horses as they are. I’m an actor after all, not an equestrian. But what more could you want from new experiences?  I think i’m pretty bad ass for going against my own insecurities and telling them to go to hell. I might be a lone bear who likes the company of crickets, but this time i found folks i like.

Barn cat black with no boundaries.

I had my first real “shift” so to speak on Saturday, and it was a great day with good company. I felt a little unsteady at first but i think given some time i’ll soon get back into the swing. Because we keep moving, as soon as i get settled in a place, it all goes down the drain then i have to start over again. And thanks to UW i’m sure it’ll happen at least one more time. However, i will say when we go out on adventures or i go to this place — it makes it easier to deal with the mundane weekdays that drain life outta me, not completely —– but some. Also — i love this damn cat. Holy crap.

Happy Jack Road

Sometimes i feel like an imposter walking around in boots & cowboy hats, with a laconic state of mind, being so foreign and trying to hustle in with the real cowkids and western girls on horse back, but they really make me feel welcome at this new place, which is totally new to me. Exciting stuff.
Anyway i filmed a few clips and will be making a video of my first day there which i can’t wait to share with you. Yesterday we also took a trip to Cheyenne where i filmed all day for the fun of it. I think it’ll be “A day in Wyoming” type of video but we’ll see how that goes with time and all.

The Western Imposter

My dad might not be from Tennessee, my step father doesn’t sing the ballads in a dive bar and my mother isn’t some Southern woman who taught me to be the perfect pioneer wife. I’m just a lost little kid walking around this big world trying everything life has to give me. Missing all those i left behind in sad and bad and pretty home places. Finding my way through fields and mountains and plains and state to state to state. I get a little closer as it goes, but i know the feeling of being an imposter may haunt me a good long year or two yet. If you look at me now though, sitting on this here rock and thinking over all the places i’ve seen and the one guy that showed me what love was like?

I don’t have that much to complain about.
Happy Monday — see you again soon.

an arena of senior horses & possibilities

This week has been relatively great with only one full day of work, a snow day and then a half day today; now the rest of the week is all ours. Tomorrow is thanksgiving, something that doesn’t mean anything to me because i’m grateful every day for what i have, my experiences and so on and so forth. Still — the time off is most definitely welcome! Today was particularly great because i finally got to visit a horse arena that i’ve wanted to visit since before we arrived in Laramie. Any one who knows me knows i’d prefer to be around animals and its a bonus if its horses. So i was incredibly excited about meeting the people, the horses and seeing the area. I felt it went very well. The people were wonderful and incredibly friendly. Their horses were precious senior personalities, old animals are the sweetest. The arena/barn itself was perfect. It had everything you could possibly need.

ranch ponies in the snow

Unfortunately i can’t be there as much as i want due to working full time. I already wanted to be at this barn 24/7 because its a perfect scenario for me, but alas there is not enough time in the day. I desperately want to put myself through a two week course at the Wyoming School of Horse shoeing, which costs a pretty penny, so i have to do the job that pays. But we’ll see what happens. I’ll still be taking some riding lessons and doing some photography/social media work for them in the future, but i’d love to get more involved in that if life allows. Maybe if i get lucky things will fall into place. I sadly don’t see us staying in Wyoming too long, we love the state — i REALLY love Wyoming! Unfortunately there are issues since we’ve arrived that long term may cause us to leave…  but moving is hard and sometimes it doesn’t quite fit right away so we’ll give it time as we always do. I hope for now that i can do the things i want to do here before we decide to leave. We shall see.

big shirts and snow boots. I’m supposed to dress office casual… this is about as good as i get with that. Haha. I’m not made for pretty clothes. Im made to have shit in my hair, wear old jeans and boots all day long.

I didn’t take any photographs as the bossman was showing me around, because i like to experience things first and photograph later (besides i didn’t want to be rude). So next time i go i’ll be taking some senior horse portraits and i’m so unbelievably excited. All the horses wanted attention as i walked through the stalls and by the arena. There was even a big soft draft horse with a fluffy winter coat that i got to have a little chat with. Draft horses are the horses i’d like to specialise in when shoeing and i was told once i’d taken the course in Cheyenne that i’d be more than welcome to practice on their horses for experience. That would be amazing, they even mentioned connecting me with a female farrier who has an excellent reputation. This just sounds too good to be true !  It’d be a dream to be a farrier, i’d love it and i could live anywhere i wanted and make my own schedules, be my own boss. I feel that i may be one step closer… a small step. But a step is a step and i’ll take what i can get.

Anyway, good night friends and sleep well.

our first month

We’ve officially been here a month as of last week, and it’s already been one hell of a ride.
It’s been wonderful. Scary. Stressful x 10. Hard. Exhausting. But we’re here and we’re making it work. Many things have  happened already.
So in it’s honour — the anniversary of yet another big adventure —  here is a minefield of pictures from our first month back in the West.