bad lungs

Hey everyone.
I officially received my accepted letters through email today, which was nice! I was starting to grow a little concerned they were going to forget. Looking through the attachments i grew a little anxious due to unforeseen payments i’ll have to make, that weren’t listed on their website, but living in America i’ve learned to always expect to have to attend to hidden payments for absolutely everything — doesn’t mean it doesn’t bum me the hell out every time, know what i mean? Im not saying its only America — it could just as well happen in Denmark too.
Either way — i can’t wait to get started, as i’ve been saying for a long time now.

I’ve been lucky enough to have been off from work since Thursday. I took my free day on Friday — it was a Christmas gift from work that we could take one day off in the year without it counting towards our severely meagre vacation or sick time. On top of that today was Martin Luther King day and so was also a day off from work; so i got a good four days off and it was almost perfect, definitely needed. Unfortunately today i’ve spent in utter pain. Unable to move without shooting pains in my lungs and chest. Im stubborn as a mule, and likely equally stupid when it comes to advice — i refused a trip to the emergency room and a visit to the doctor, because i know they’ll want to run any test they can even if its unnecessary. If i were in Denmark or in Texas — i’d have gone, but i will NOT pay for medical help unless i’m at deaths door if I’m in neither place. However, i’ll ask Jack to go if he’s not feeling well. Haha. I’m dreading a very tough day tomorrow if i don’t feel any better. I have time for one sick day but i don’t want to use it unless it’s an emergency or something. This is exactly why i hate this kind of lifestyle — i don’t like having to be accountable to someone else and have someone else decide what i can and can’t do. It doesn’t bode well for my soul. How do i get through it? I remind myself that its temporary.
Bring on 2020 when i start a new path!

Needless to say, today i’ve been immobile and useless. I genuinely struggle to sit and do nothing, i cannot do it! As we all do when we know we have days off coming up, i had plans and things i’d like to get done. I wanted to start working on my Denmark video, write some and read some. I wanted to pack and so many other things. I got a lot of cleaning done, worked out and edited a few photos, we even ventured out into the baltic night last night to film time-lapses videos, but I’m never satisfied, do you know what i mean? I want everything on my list completed to feel like i accomplished something. We both managed to catch up on some rest from our trip though, finally — and really thats what we really needed.

girl in cowboy hat