I’ve been working from home since last Monday, trying not to leave the house as much as possible. Only leaving to go and help at the barn or going grocery shopping. So really right now is a perfect time to be editing that novel i’ve been so excited about, but i’ve been trying to avoid it like the plague. I don’t know what i’ll do when i’ve finished editing it. The thought of reaching out to that first literary agent is daunting and reaching out to the possible hundreds after that, just as daunting — so with that in mind i’m trying to keep myself in limbo so i wont have to deal with all those rejections on top of being made to feel like shite during my work day. It just wont do — and i know that. Now i truly my force myself to look at it face to face and finish the damn thing, the last leg.
I’d been hoping that i’d be able to spend my lunches taking a quick run around the block and then sitting down with my manuscript before going back to work, however since working from home — i haven’t even had time to take lunches during the day or any kind of a break for that matter.
Everyone is busy losing their minds and piling their work onto me because they dont know what to do themselves. I really hope it all will settle down soon so i can at least get a break.
As for COVID-19. Im not that concerned, i’m not panicking or bulk buying. It wont do any good. I’m just staying home and doing my thing, getting the projects done that need doing, finishing this and that. Jack and i take a walk in the evenings in places that people are very sparse. We’re quite enjoying not being surrounded by people constantly. Its surprising how even this town in the middle of Wyoming can feel so damn cramped. This pandemic has solidified that Laramie isn’t long term, just a week or so ago i thought i wanted to stay — with a new job it’d be fine. No, it wont and i was probably kidding myself. I love Medicine Bow and the amazing landscapes surrounding us, but everything else is a battle. It’s time for us to return home, and whilst i will probably never live in Denmark again — Texas will be the closest i’ll ever have to home for the rest of my life. I’m already considering packed boxes and getting rid of our clutter and this COVID business helps make Texas seem like some sanctuary in all the madness.
Having said, all that, my personal life is pretty good. I’ve started playing and learning a new instrument. One that is completely different from the ones i’ve played all my life, so its very exciting and weird to be a “beginner” again. Im enjoying the process. I have also been trying to practice writing at home more — its just about creating the habit and keeping it going. Last night i woke up in the butt crack of night to write down notes for a new piece; whether its a poem, a short story or a novella i don’t quite know but its a brand new idea and those are always something to be proud of. You never know when those ideas might start drying up. I’m glad that even now, all these years later, im still able to fill notebooks and writing books with ideas and dreams and stories and lies. It’s good for the soul.
Lately i’ve been debating how to make the house we live in more “ours,” i suppose thats always unavoidable when you just want to buy your own place with acres and change it all up to fit your way — i’ve never owned a place before. But i want somewhere that i can convert into a Scandinavian haven with wooden floors, white walls, walls of books and wooden panels and fire places with reindeer blankets. It doesn’t need to be a big place, and i’d love a porch around the place to boot. Somewhere in North Texas so i can still get some snow, that’d be grand. Maybe with a lake or river near by so i can still get some boating in. With enough land for all those senior horses i’ve mentioned before.
I’m not much of a decorator, but i do have the inner minimalistic Danish streak when it comes to apartments and homes — and i do my best with what i have. I’d love for my place to look like a Danish Summer house. Cozy, hyggelig and quiet. I’m not willing to put money into a place that isn’t mine though of course, but i’d love to change a few things about the house just the same. So i’m considering a few ideas. Who knows what i’ll come up with? Do you own your own place? Do you have a knack for decorating and making places into safe havens?
Anyway, i’ll steal back to my manuscript and do some editing whilst we watch the Shining. Im sitting with my favourite blanket in front of the nordic looking space heater and leaning against Jack. This is what living is. No one to bother us none, and nothing we need to leave the house for.
I hope you’re all well and that you’re safe. Stay upbeat, and take the staying home as a gift. I sure am.